Born of Dust

[Insert Raucous Fanfare Here]

2008-03-31T23:43:00.000-07:00

IT'S FINISHED!!!!!!!

And by "it", I mean my website!! After spending far too long on it, it's finally completed and ready to be the new home of my blog! Yes, this will mean that you people who read the email subscriptions won't be getting these emails anymore, but fear not! If you want to subscribe to my new blog, there's a very similar form to fill out there.

I'm really hoping you all will enjoy the changes. I wanted to make a website so I could organize my different creative products a little better and host my own files, such as my videos and...[insert second raucous fanfare]...my PIANO CD!!!

Yes I'm finally done with my CD of original piano compositions, and I'm quite proud of it. It's quite raw, trust me on that, but I like it that way. It's available free for download on the website which, if you're just dying to know, can be found here:

http://www.bornofdust.com

So go ahead and check it out! And I hope you enjoy what I've got in store for you at the beginning. Something a little bit different...

see you there!

-jason <><

P.s. If you get "stuck" at all in the beginning, just let me know and I'll help you out. It's not meant to be difficult, just...yeah. "Unique." :P

P.s.s. For the sake of transition I transferred a few of my posts here to my website's blog, but feel free to come back here anytime you wanna read some of my older stuff. Otherwise, my new home is definitely my website!

2001: A Space Odyssey

2008-03-26T22:01:00.001-07:00

I saw it because I had to have my own opinion on it. There are too many people saying it either sucks horribly, or is the greatest film masterpiece of all time. My take? Neither. It's pretty good, but not great.

It's definitely filled with all those looooooooong slow takes that some people find terribly boring, but surprisingly I actually ended up liking them. I mean, I wouldn't force anybody to watch it, if you find it boring then I completely understand, but I like the way it really conveys the feeling of being in space. Very quiet and lonely, and the simplest tasks take a lot of time and care to accomplish. HAL was great and way creepy and the special effects were amazing. In fact - if you were to just take out the beginning and the end, this would be a really awesome movie.

But you do have the beginning. With the monkeys learning how to use bones as weapons in a ridiculously overdramatic scene that actually made me laugh out loud (maybe it was supposed to be funny, I dunno). And you do have the end. Where Dave ends up in that bedroom in the middle of space where he quickly becomes older and older until suddenly there's that black rectangle and he points at it and becomes the Star Baby. And see I've read the book, which makes that whole scene much clearer, and it's still totally ridiculous.

Point is, it wasn't terrible. But it wasn't amazing either. There were many elements that could very definitely place this movie in the higher ranks of sci-fi, but taken as a whole, it's just a tad pretentious. Well! It's been seen. That's all I needed.

-jason <><

Social Justice: A Misnamed Ambition

2008-03-24T15:27:00.001-07:00

Ta da da DUM!!!!! Yes, it's time for me put my two (or four) cents in on the issue of social justice. As I always say before a post like this: brace yourselves.

So I'll be honest. Whenever I hear the term "social justice" I cringe just a little bit. And I think mainly because it seems to be such a "buzz word", or even a cliche nowadays. That's something that you'll just have to understand about me, anything that seems to be a cliche, no matter how noble the thought behind it is, I instinctively reject. Wish it wasn't true, but it is. But the more I consider the subject, the more I realize that there's more to it than that. I think the term "social justice" is, quite frankly, the wrong term to use for what its goals are, at least for Christians.

Here's the problem: "justice" means something a bit different in American (or Western) culture than it does in God's Word. The American idea of justice is probably better translated as "fairness". We've got that picture of Lady Justice with the scales, and I think the implication is obvious: everybody should be treated equally. The same idea crops up in our ideas on human rights and such. And when someone is being oppressed, or trodden upon, or in any other way being lorded over by those in power, we say "People don't deserve to be treated like that."

Of course, I get enough people coming in to Kit's Camera saying they "deserve" to have their prints done in an hour, or they "deserve" an extension on their warranty even if they didn't pay for one. Americans really do love that word, it seems.

Anyway, the point is that when I think of God's justice, I think of something much different. For those who have spent some time in their lives studying the Bible, have you ever had a discussion on "justice vs. mercy"? What's the basic idea behind it? That God is a just God, but also a merciful one. It's in His nature to bring justice to those who deserve it, but it's also in His nature to bring mercy to those who don't deserve it all. And how does this discussion come up usually? When we're talking about God's mercy on us. God's redeemed children. We're all sinners, we've all fallen short, and none of us deserve the life He's given us.

The thing I'm getting at is that if this were truly a just world, we would all be dead and in Hell right now. You would, I would, dictators would, criminals would, orphans would, widows would, and the poor, starving, oppressed people in third world nations would. If you want to talk about "justice", about what people "deserve", damnation is exactly what everyone deserves.

Of course, we're just humans. We obviously don't have the power to damn people to Hell, and thank God for that. But we are called to bring justice where it's needed, and what that involves - more often than not - is punishment. When you "bring someone to justice", what are you referring to? Laying out some sort of discipline for whatever it is they've done.

And here's where my problem with "social justice" begins. When people start talking about justice then, it becomes an issues of "justice for the oppressed" and such like that. Of course, it's totally applicable to bring to justice those in power who are oppressing those under them. That's true justice. But to say that we bring clean water to those without it because they "deserve" it? Or because everyone should be treated "fairly"? When I hear the statistics about how wealthy us Americans are and how poor the rest of the world is, it starts to sound more like socialist issues to me. More about giving up what we have because we have "too much" and they have "too little". Fairness. Equality. But I'm sorry, fairness just has nothing to do with justice, at least not the way we talk about it. Nobody on this earth deserves anything good at all.

Now I hope you're not just going to skip the rest of the post and start posting an angry comment now, because you'll have missed my entire purpose for writing this. Of course I believe in giving what we have to those in distress, and caring for the orphans and widows of our country and others. Of course I want to give clean water to those who have to live without it every day. All of these are amazing and wonderful things. But I don't believe in doing them because of "fairness". I only want to do them out of love.

Because God's love is the one thing that can overcome His justice. He always has been and always will be a just God, but His love for us overshadows all things. And yes He's called us to justice, but He's called us to something much, much, MUCH more important: to LOVE. To love God and to love others. Those starving and oppressed people don't deserve a single thing. But what anyone ever "deserves" or not should never, EVER stop us from loving everyone and having mercy on those in trouble.

So you might be asking, "Well okay, so you don't like the term 'social justice', but you support the causes and the goals behind it, right? So what's the big deal? Why make this gigantic post over a couple words?" Well I'm so glad you asked. Because the reasons that we do these things make all the difference in the world.

Honestly, "social justice" is a pretty secular idea. It's all about providing earthly needs for those who have less than us. And you know, 99% of the time I can't think of anything wrong with that. I'm not gonna call somebody out for working to provide clean water for villages in Africa. That's ridiculous. It's a great cause with some great people. But we as Christians can provide so much MORE. So so so much more.

Jesus made a big deal about it Himself when He was talking to the Samaritan woman at the well. She kept going on about earthly water, but He always came back to the same idea: "Whoever drinks of this water will thirst again, but whoever drinks of the water that I shall give him will never thirst. But the water that I shall give him will become in him a fountain of water springing up into everlasting life" (John 4:13-14). What good is it if we're providing clean, earthly water if we never give people a chance to hear about this living water? What's the point of providing earthly needs if we never tell them about the way to eternal life? It would be like giving a man on death row a blanket but holding back the key to his cell.

God has called us to so much more than "fairness". To be blunt, it's a pretty shallow and worldly reason to be providing for those in need. But to care for others because of the depths of God's love and mercy is so much more valuable. I would challenge people to put aside the idea of "social justice" and instead focus more on the ideas of "social love" or "social mercy". It would prove far more beneficial in the end, I think.

If you have any rebuttals or anything, let me know. But this has been my two cents.

-jason <><

P.s. After Wayne's comment I realized I need to make something very clear: these issues of social love or social mercy (caring for those less fortunate) are hugely important in Scripture, and every single member of the body of Christ should be involved with them in some form. I do strongly believe that. It might be directly or indirectly (even just giving financial support), but in the epistles especially this is a very obvious command for all of us. And who knows how it will come about in your life - I give money to my church, which I know gives back to the community in ways commanded by Scripture. If it didn't I would give my money elsewhere, or even possibly look for a different church.

If you want a Biblical reference, here's one (there are much more sprinkled throughout the Bible): "Pure and undefiled religion before God and the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their trouble, and to keep oneself unspotted from the world" (James 1:27). 'Orphans and widows' basically refers to those in the culture of the time who would have been unable to care for themselves, so basically, the needy. And like I said, there are many other references, but this one's pretty pointed I think.

Politimon

2008-03-21T11:41:00.000-07:00

Okay, I owe everyone a serious post soon, but I had to link this here:

I thought it was hilarious, anyway. Although, just for the sake of throwing my own bias in - sounds pretty typical that the stuff Obama wins at are "Hope" and "Change". I hear him talk a lot about Hope and Change. I don't hear a whole lot about what we should Hope for or how he's planning to Change things.

I'm sure it's not important though.

-jason <><

Stuff White People Like

2008-03-16T15:23:00.000-07:00

Wow. Wow wow wow. This list is so incredibly spot on in every way. I'm sure I'm guilty of several things on this list.

Some highlights:

#3: Film Festivals - "White people hate stuff that is 'mainstream' - so they go to film festivals where they see movies that every other person in their demographic wants to see. It's a pretty sweet way to rebel."

#6: Organic Food - "Just like with farmers markets, white people believe that organic food is grown by farmers who wear overalls, drive tractors, and don't use pesticide. In spite of the fact that most organic food is made by major agribusiness, and they just use it as an excuse to jack up prices, white people will always lose their mind for organic anything."

#9: Making You Feel Bad About About Not Going Outside - "Usually, they will see that you are preparing to enjoy your life and they will say "hey, lets go for a hike in the park," and most people will say "hey, thanks but I've been working all week and I'm really excited about watching this game," and then they will respond "don't be a lump on the couch, you're wasting your life away, etc..." If you ignore them, they will eventually go away."

#10: Wes Anderson Movies - "Wes Anderson movies have this way of being sort of funny and a little clever, so white people in the audience will laugh like crazy. Also, if they don't get the joke and other white people start laughing, they'll all join in."

#19: Traveling [I'm guilty of this one...] - "The second type of white person travel is Third World. This is when they venture to Thailand, Africa or South America. Some do it so that they can one up the white people who only go to Europe. But like with Europe, white people like to believe they are the first white people to make this trip. As such, they should be recognized as special and important individuals."

#28: Not Having a TV - "The number one reason why white people like not having a TV is so that they can tell you that they don't have a TV."

#40: Apple Products [Definitely guilty] - "When you ask white people about Mac's they will say 'oh, it's so much better than Windows,' 'it's just easier to use,' 'they are so cutting edge,' and so forth. What's amazing is that white people NEED to meet people who use Windows to justify themselves spending an extra $500 for a pretty looking machine."

#41: Indie Music [A little guilty] - "A white person's iPod is not merely an assemblage of music that they enjoy. It is what defines them as a person. To a white person, being a fan of a band before they get popular is one of the most important things they can do with their life."

#49: Vintage - "Beginning in their late teens, white people begin an obsession with finding cool vintage clothing at local thrift shops and Goodwills. Making purchases at these locations address a number of white person needs."

#62: Knowing What's Best For Poor People [This one's unfortunate, but often true] - "It is a poorly guarded secret that, deep down, white people believe if given money and education that all poor people would be EXACTLY like them. But it is ESSENTIAL that you reassert that poor people do not make decisions based on free will. That news could crush white people and their hope for the future."

#72: Studying Abroad [So terribly guilty] - "By attending school in another country, white people are technically living in another country. This is important as it gives them the opportunity to insert that fact into any sentence they please. 'When I used to live in [insert country], I would always ride the train to school. The people I'd see were inspiring.'"

#75: Threatening to Move to Canada - "Though they will never actually move to Canada, the act of declaring that they are willing to undertake the journey is very symbolic in white culture. It shows that their dedication to their lifestyle and beliefs are so strong, that they would consider packing up their entire lives and moving to a country that is only slightly different to the one they live in now."

#82: Hating Corporations - "When engaging in a conversation about corporate evils it is important to NEVER, EVER mention Apple Computers, Target or Ikea in the same breath as the companies mentioned earlier [McDonald's, Wal-Mart, Microsoft, etc.]. White people prefer to hate corporations that don't make stuff that they like."

Yes. I really am that cynical.

-jason <><

New WALL*E Trailer

2008-03-12T09:00:00.000-07:00

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh watch it watch it watch it watch it:

Click Here Now!!

This movie looks SO FREAKING GOOD. I'm so excited.

-jason <><

It's 1:30 In The Morning

2008-03-04T01:33:00.001-08:00

And I'm really starting to wonder about this whole "gen-ed" thing.

Nobody wants to take them, probably 90% of the time. And sure, there are classes in my major that I don't really want to take, but at least I take some comfort in the knowledge that there's probably a good reason for it (for instance, I'm taking a computer science class right now that's largely, and annoyingly, theoretical, but I know it will help in the long run as I write programs). But for gen-ed...it feels like an exercise an endurance. Seriously. I look through these lists of subjects I don't care about, hoping against hope I run into something that a) is interesting, b) fits in my schedule, c) is just the right number of credits.

And for what purpose? I know they're looking to give us a more 'well-rounded' education, but come on, wasn't that what high-school was for? And back then it actually WAS well-rounded. Now it's only well-rounded in the sense that I don't just learn about computer science, I gain in-depth knowledge on pre-modern East Asian civilizations, the effects of different methods in forestry, and the history of theatre. What? Are they hoping that I end up on Jeopardy and get those categories? Then I could actually monetize everything I'm learning here I guess...

At the very least they could treat these classes like what they are: brief side-tracks on the way to getting a major. But no, the professors for these classes seem to think that whatever they're teaching is vitally important for life, and make the class just as rigorous as any other. My East Asian class last quarter was one of the most brutal classes I've ever taken, and for what purpose? To pointlessly lower my GPA? Well it worked.

Seriously, it feels like torture, and the only reason I'm pushing through it is because a college degree is a borderline necessity to work in this country. (Ironic that the country that most requires a college degree out of its citizens is the one that charges the most for it too...) And although I could go to a technical college or community college, 1) a university degree is by far more prestigious, and b) I do honestly like that a university has more to offer. I would just prefer these extra classes to be on a more 'voluntary' system. I'd love to take some of the media classes they offer here, or the scriptwriting workshop. Guess how much those classes help me get a degree? Not in the least.

Well there are far worse things in life than this, so I shan't dwell upon it. Just had to get my frustrations out. I'm sure many of you college students can probably relate to me anyway.

Have an absurdly pleasant day!!! (Wow, don't know where that one came from...)

-jason <><

THE GREATEST GAME EVER MADE

2008-02-29T19:41:00.001-08:00

So at some point here I'm gonna be writing an epic post about my views on social justice that's sure to cause some controversy (won't that be fun!), but for now I need to tell you about something very important.

It's a game called Audiosurf. It's a puzzle/rhythm game with a freaking awesome twist: you put in your own music. It custom creates a track based on the song you put in, so like the less intense moments will be slower, more intense will be faster, etc. And it is seriously a TRIP. Check it out:

If you can't figure out the point from the video, you basically collect blocks of similar colors together - you get three together, they disappear and you get points. There's also a simpler mode where there's only one color, and you dodge grey blocks to get the colored ones (that's a lot of fun too). But the point is the way the track works with the music, and that's absolutely incredible. It adds so much to whatever's playing, and it really doesn't matter at all what style of music you want to use. I played a really soft song from Finding Nemo, and it was absolutely AMAZING. Such an experience.

Oh yeah...AND IT'S ONLY TEN BUCKS. Seriously. If you have Windows and have any interest in games/music at all, buy this game. You can download it here:

audio-surf.com

That is all.

-jason <><

Mommy, Why Is There A Server In The House?

2008-02-26T18:31:00.000-08:00

No you don't have to be a techie to love this website, just trust me: it's hilarious. I highly recommend checking it out if you're bored:

http://www.stayathomeserver.com//default.aspx

One of the funniest things I've seen in a long time, and it's advertising a Windows product. Who'da thought?

-jason <><

Frederick the Politics Bunny Says...

2008-02-20T12:28:00.001-08:00

Ha ha! What? I'm totally serious...

I love that my last post spawned so many comments, but I especially love that almost all of them were very respectful of other views and honestly wanted nothing more than to find the truth of the issue. My brain hurt yesterday from thinking about it so much, but it was good to really get in and have some healthy discussion.

So I'll post more on politics in the future. For today, though, my brain needs a break. I suggest you consider one too. Watch some SpongeBob or something. It really (REALLY) cleanses the mental palette.

happy birthday,

-jason <><

My Love/Hate Relationship With Obama

2008-02-18T22:24:00.000-08:00

After many years of radio silence, I'm finally ringing in with some of my political views. This could get ugly...

So first of all I don't want Clinton in office, period. She's a politician, not a leader. And if anyone disagrees with me...well I'm guessing you probably won't because Washington is such a ridiculously Obama-fied state. I know it's close and Clinton still has a chance, but I think it's gonna be Obama.

And speaking of Obama-fied, you can't swing your arms around here without smacking some sort of Obama-related thing. He's everywhere. And without hearing a single speech or hearing a single policy, I sort of get it drilled into my head that "Huh. This Obama guy seems pretty cool actually. I don't know why I'd vote for anyone else." This, my friends, is propaganda at work, whether you like it or not. It's not necessarily a bad thing. I'm just calling it for what it is.

That being said, speaking as a Republican who's most probably going to vote for McCain later this year, I wouldn't be too bothered to have Obama in office. Because frankly, the President doesn't have nearly the amount of power that we attribute to him. He's definitely not just a figure-head, he does a lot as our country's leader, but for the most part it's our Congress that runs the country, and our President represents it. And as far as representing our country, I think Obama would be fine.

Now I think that most liberals have horribly and purposefully misunderstood President Bush. Most of the political "debates" that have gone on about him have fallen into the categories of name-calling and raspberry-blowing, and I feel like as a nation we really need to learn to FREAKING GROW UP. If you have a problem with his policies, fine. But quit calling him an idiot, quit rolling your eyes at the sound of his name, and LEARN TO GIVE YOUR PRESIDENT SOME ****ING RESPECT.

Ahem.

The point of that diatribe was to say that as misunderstood as he's been, Bush certainly hasn't been the best face for our country. I don't know that much of it is his fault. So what that it's easy to catch him making funny faces? I could say the same thing about my friend Easton Thomas, who's someone I very highly respect and look up to. But the fact is that his name has been synonymous with "moron" around the globe, and thus our country has been labelled with him. It would certainly be nice to be free from that for a change. And I definitely think Obama could do that.

Oh I think McCain could, too. But Obama just seems so visionary, so inspiring, he just makes you love being an American and makes you want to support him whole-heartedly. He seems like someone who could bring the nation together. Granted, in this age of blogging and Wikipedia we are always starving to know the whole truth about everything, and if Obama was unable to keep up with the expectations set for himself, he could fall farther than Bush. But at least he doesn't have a Southern accent, so he must be smarter! (Okay I'm done now.)

But here's the thing: I just can't support him as a candidate, for a few reasons.

1) He wants to pull out of Iraq quickly. This is stupid. I'm sorry, it just is.

The thing is, in our Drive-Thru Nation we want everything done quickly. It was only a week into the invasion of Iraq when people were already whining that it was taking too long. Now it's been what, six years? And people are calling it a "quagmire". What? Okay fine, if you didn't want to go in in the first place I understand, but we're there now. And why do we need to stay?

Because we're fighting against a people group who think far differently than we do. We think in terms of months, years at best. They think in terms of centuries. We could be in there for 30 years and if we pulled out without fully establishing a strong Iraqi government, they would look at it as a minor setback and come back at us, as strong as ever. To pull out would be an impatient, weak, and self-serving move that would only provide us with a brief respite from our problems. And I have especially strong reservations about this one because this an area where the President does have great power: as Commander-In-Chief.

(By the way, if you want a prime example of what happens when you don't stick to your occupation, just look at Africa today. You wanna know the main reason so many countries there are in turmoil? Because they're still suffering from almost a hundred years ago when European colonists came in, took what they wanted to take, and pulled out without giving the Africans time to fully establish themselves politically. Are you wanting that to happen in Iraq?)

2) He supports abortion. I don't. It's murder.

Now I think many pro-lifers don't pay enough attention to the situations that bring about abortions. Pregnancies caused by rape, pregnancies that endanger the health of the mother - there's especially that condition where a baby will be born without a brain, meaning as soon as he's born he will die. This is where the question of partial-birth abortion came about. To condemn these poor women's character without fully hearing their story is cold and irresponsible. But as awful as their situation might be, killing an unborn child is still killing an unborn child. There's nothing redeemable about that.

--------------------------------

There are some other issues that I'm kind of up in the air about, like universal health care (I'm leaning away from it, but I don't totally know), and education (I might possibly like Obama's policy better here). I like that Obama and McCain are both against the amendment to label marriage as just between a man and a woman, and slightly dismayed that they both support embryonic stem cell research (although McCain does want tighter restrictions).

In all, I'll most probably be supporting McCain, and I think some of Obama's policies (especially foreign policies) need to be given more consideration then some are giving him. But I wouldn't be too distraught to see him elected as president. As long as he's careful with Iraq.

But no Clinton. Please no Clinton.

-jason <><

Beauty/Death

2008-02-13T17:12:00.000-08:00

Most people who know me at all will eventually learn that the place I want to visit more than any other place in the entire world is Antarctica. Which makes almost zero sense, because 1) It's not in Europe, Asia or Africa (where everyone else seems to like going), and 2) It's cold. And I hate it when it gets into the 40's here, so why the heck would I want to go to Antarctica?

Well I was trying to explain it to someone today, and I came up with this (slightly creepy) explanation: "Cause it's so beautiful and at the same time can kill you." To which she said "Yeah that too. Um, I think."

But as I was walking away I realized an even better explanation: I want to go to Antarctica because it reminds me the most of God.

Think about it: it's huge, vast, and beautiful. It's mysterious. It's quiet. It's comforting. And yet, at the same time...it's totally deadly. It's dangerous. Impossible to tame, conquer, or fully understand. With advances in technology we're coming closer to being able to survive in Antarctica, but nothing is perfect. Blizzards, ice floes and just the pure freezing cold is often enough to wreck whatever we've established.

Back in the exploration age, though, the metaphor worked even better. As intriguing and adventurous as it was to explore Antarctica, they recognized its incredible power over them. There were absolutely no guarantees when they went in. Antarctica is a huge, beautiful, crushing, relentless power. Like my Lord.

I can say one thing though: as intimidating and huge and deadly as my God is, I can find no place in the world safer than being right next to Him. To be caught up in Him. He's my safeguard and my fortress, and He's my Father. And the only thing in this world that could possibly surpass His power or His beauty is His love.

I can't get this picture out of my head: me, huddled up in the middle of a huge, icy expanse, surrounded by nothing but His beauty and majesty, and kept warm by nothing but His love.

That's my Father, and my God.

-jason <><

Stuff I've Bought At Goodwill For $10 or Less

2008-02-08T16:09:00.000-08:00

ITEM #1: A Hammond M3 Organ

Technically I didn't buy this one, but I was there when it was bought, and I bought the replacement vacuum tubes for it. It is now at my house, sitting alone and depressed by itself in the basement. I fully intend to bring it up here once I have accommodation that can fit it. And yes, it works/sounds just fine.

ITEM #2: A Minolta XL-660 Sound - Super8 Camera

I didn't buy this so much for functional purposes - more so I could bring it to Kit's Camera where we could all geek out over it. If I could afford the film cartridges for it though, I would definitely use it.

Item #3: Our couch

I was too lazy to find a way to take a picture and upload it here, and Blogger is really annoying to put pictures up anyway, BUT the fact is, appearance doesn't do it justice. As soon as you sit in it, you stop caring about however good or bad it looks. It is SUPER comfy. And no, I guess we technically didn't get it at Goodwill, we met someone there who gave it to us for free, but it involved Goodwill, and it was free which is definitely less than $10.

There you go. I'm sure this post has been incredibly enriching to your life.

-jason <><

I can't believe I'm actually putting this on the internet...

2008-02-02T22:41:00.000-08:00

So now that everyone's listening to Disappointed By Candy (you ARE listening, RIGHT?!?), time for a real post.

So on my future website I plan on having a section where I'll post a whole bunch of things I've written. But Meghan Smith has once again inspired me to post, so I thought I'd put one of my old stories up now.

Now by "old" I mean "about 6 years ago", so keep that in mind. It was a creative writing assignment where we were shown a whole load of different objects (pepto bismol, a map of Bangkok airport, a napkin with a phone number and lipstick mark on it, etc.) and we wrote about someone coming to a hotel room, seeing all these objects, and piecing together the life of whoever lived here before.

I was also partnered with one of the most random guys EVER, so keep that in my mind too. And keep in mind that...I'm apparently completely insane. Not that that bothers me or anything.

Well without further ado:

-----------------------------------------------

I was making my daily commute to Bangkok from Monkey’s Eyebrow, Kentucky. However, the airport I landed at was bombed when I left, so I had to stay at a motel overnight. When I got in, I asked how recently the rooms had been cleaned. The motel manager took one look at me and burst out laughing. So I checked in to my room, which was number 666 (this was particularly ironic, considering the motel had one floor with 5 rooms). I then proceeded to throw my bags in a corner and was going to take a nap on the bed when I realized there was no bed, and I fell down.

From my view on the ground, I discovered an interesting artifact on the floor. Actually, the entire floor consisted of interesting artifacts, but this one caught my attention. It was a Bangkok Airport Bus map. As I studied the map, I realized what only an idiot wouldn’t realize the instant he saw it: The man who dropped this was obviously learning to fly over Bangkok! He apparently attempted this by sewing together some wings using a sewing kit I found right next to the map.

As I stood up, I stepped on a packet of Pepto-Bismol. I backed up to take a better look, and I stepped on another one. And another one. And another one. I soon realized that the entire room was a minefield of various digestive medicines. This could only mean one thing! Unfortunately, I had no idea what that was. Then, something caught my attention; some loser was watching me through the window. So I picked up a golf ball from the floor, threw it at him, and closed the blinds. As I listened to him swearing loudly in Bangkokinese, I suddenly realized something. A golf ball! Of course! The man I was studying – whom I have affectionately named Flaming Charlie, for no particular reason – had apparently been hit in the stomach with a golf ball while he was flying, thus giving him various stomach problems, not to mention a little bit of pain upon landing.

Yes, it was all coming together now. Of course, after all this evidence had so blatantly been shoved in my face, it was definitely time to see if the toilet in the bathroom was broken. Upon inspection, I discovered that it was! I also discovered that it wasn’t in the bathroom, but that’s a different story. As I was pondering this mystery, I noticed that there was a business card for a local nail salon in the trashcan. Of course, I instantly deduced that the man had been confused, and had assumed that the nail salon was actually a toilet repair shop. I should know, because I have made this mistake many times (toilets blow up all the time in Monkey’s Eyebrow).

When I looked even further, I found a few more items, namely a rock, and (this shocked me quite a bit), a paper napkin! Then I found the phone number and lipstick mark on it, and that shocked me even more. Apparently, he had met some woman who had given him a napkin and…um…a rock! Yes, she gave him a rock. And…uh…he thought it was food, so he ate it. And that gave him more stomach problems. Sure.

Well, since it was getting harder to think of stuff, and I wasn’t entirely sure why the rock was still there if he had eaten it, I decided to clear my mind by sitting in the armchair nearby. And even though there wasn’t, technically, a seat in it, I just sat on the floor. Then I decided to see if there was a book to read. It seems the only ones available were an issue of Varmint Hunter, and a book of Cat Care. I figured the latter might be useful since I have a dog, so I had just started to read it when I realized that these could help unlock the mystery of Flaming Charlie. So after thinking laboriously for a whole 5 seconds, I decided that he must use the issue of Varmint Hunter to help him in hunting the humans that hit him with golf balls. And the book of Cat Care could be used to help him train his hunting cats!

I was on a roll again, so I decided to try and figure out where various other random items could be used to fit the story of Flaming Charlie. Ah yes, here were some mints and some toothpaste. They must help him see better with their minty freshness! And this Acura key must be used to start his wings! And this tea must make him lighter!

Yes, Flaming Charlie’s life was definitely unfolding now, and it was making my head hurt. Too bad he didn’t leave any Tylenol. Of course, I could just be wrong about this whole thing. I could have just made everything up and have messed up this man’s life horribly. But I don’t really have time to think about that now. I’m putting my wings on to fly to Monkey’s Eyebrow.

Disappointed By Candy

2008-01-29T23:02:00.000-08:00

Everyone, please be aware that this is not a suggestion. This is an order.

Go right now to this web page. Yes, RIGHT NOW, because I know you'll probably be on that computer for at least a little bit longer, so why not listen to some amazing music at the same time?

Disappointed By Candy

I found these guys sort of by accident. They're the bassist and drummer currently touring with Jars of Clay, and this is their own project. And it is GOOD. Sort of a cross between The Postal Service, Mute Math and something else...like Tears For Fears or Jars of Clay or something like that. I can't really place it. But it's very highly recommended. I've been listening to their CD almost exclusively for the past week.

LISTEN. NOW.

-jason <><

I guess God does provide...

2008-01-27T10:35:00.000-08:00

So last year I started having doubts about coming to Western. I was still excited about the people here and the community and everything, which is the whole reason I signed up here in the first place, but a couple things didn't quite seem right: 1) The computer science department, which might have been good or might have been bad, I just had no idea. Western's not known for it, anyway. And 2) the complete lack of any film department/classes/anything.

The last one bothered me the most because after I made my decision to go to Western, God solidified my dream of becoming a filmmaker. It seemed totally counter-productive to come here. I looked through many different options of what I could do film-wise when I got here, but nothing seemed quite right. I never wanted to be a film major, that was always for sure, because I don't see how it helps get you a job in the film industry at all. I just wanted a few classes on technique, and lots of experience.

Well just this last week I signed up to work with KVIK, the student-run TV-ish station. And just yesterday I was talking with one of the head guys in KVIK, and he was telling me about all the stuff going on this year: KVIK is buying a whole slew of new, actually useful video equipment - even classroom services is getting new, very nice stuff - a couple film-related classes were just added this year, and a lot more are coming next year - this year they just made a film minor available - pretty much the most perfect timing ever. If I had come last year or the year before, I would be out of this school much sooner and might have missed some of these opportunities. As it stands, I have the chance of getting a TON more experience in these next few years, and possibly some decent connections too. Only time will tell...

But thanks to God for all of this, for sure. I'm so glad to see where His plans for me here are going, and I'm so glad He led me here, even when it seemed to make no sense. He's just freaking amazing, that's all I can say.

-jason <><

Why Cloverfield Rocks

2008-01-23T17:32:00.000-08:00

Although a more appropriate title might be "Why Cloverfield Doesn't Suck", because this is more of a response to negative reviews than anything else.

First of all, the good: almost everyone agrees that this movie is intense and visually amazing (aside from the opponents of the hand-held cinematography). It is a ride, and a freaking amazing one at that. I left the theater actually shaking all the way to the car. It's also funny at the right moments, and most people agree that it's a pretty original concept. Reviews have been generally positive, if mediocre.

But enough people have given some fairly negative feedback that I really feel the need to address it, because I honestly disagree with most of it:

1.) The cinematography sucks.

I'm actually not sure what to say about this one. I mean...if you don't like the idea of hand-held camera work then, well, you won't like this movie. I personally have always loved hand-held, even before I knew what it was called, and the idea that they can take something as huge and epic as a monster movie but give it such a tangible and real feeling. Anyway. I like it. Others don't. Whatevs.

One thing to say though, and I'm gonna need to see this movie a few more times to check this out, but of the few moments when I was actually paying attention to how the film was made (which, by the way, is weird because I usually pay attention to that stuff ALL the time), I noticed that the cinematography really was very well thought-out. There is actually some pretty nice composition, and some very tricky angles and such, so I know they put a lot of effort into it at least, instead of just giving a camcorder to some random guy. Anyway.

2.) The 9/11 imagery is exploitative.

I can see where people are coming from with this one, and the filmmakers have said that this movie was intended to harken back to 9/11. But I agree with them: it's a good, safe venue to process some of the fears we have today. It may seem like its just using that horrific event to make a neat movie, but I really think they were respectful about it. Besides, Godzilla was actually made as a response to the Hiroshima bombings. Nuclear attacks were the fear of the day, and that was a way for them to process it.

3.) It didn't reveal enough about the monster.

Thankfully not too many people are saying this, because whoever does completely misses the point. You only know as much about the monster as the characters do, and they know almost nothing. So yeah, you won't know anything about where the monster came from or what it is or anything like that. There is also very little closure to the film. If this bothers you, then this isn't your movie.

4.) The script was weak/the characters were thin.

This one actually pisses me off, to be perfectly honest. For several reasons.

First of all, this is, first and foremost, a monster movie. It's about a monster attacking New York. And at the very heart of it, it's about what we do when thrown into such a deadly situation - who's the first person we think of, and how do we respond? There's not meant to be anything deeper beyond that. I think most people realize this, but it still diminishes the value of the movie for some, and I don't see why it has to.

Second of all, lots of people have complained about the dialogue, calling it "trite" and so forth. This I don't understand at all. The script was written to make these people sound like everyday, real people, and I think it did an incredible job. I'm just worried that people nowadays are so used to hearing characters talk in "movie speak" that they don't know what good writing is anymore. I'm sorry if that sounds harsh, but it's something I'm very passionate about. Movie characters tend to not talk like normal people, even in the very greatest films. So when a movie like this comes along where they talk plainly and without any memorable quotes or witty phrases, people call it bad. I don't know. Maybe the writing was actually bad but I just missed it.

As for the characters, many people have complained that they're 2-dimensional. This couldn't be further from the truth, in my opinion. It's true that there's not a ton of character development in the movie, but there's no need for it. The notion, though, that a character is somehow "2-dimensional" because he/she doesn't make a big freaking deal about all their different traits and emotional growth and everything is completely ridiculous. I've seen the movies that many people consider to be great "character studies", and this is generally my reaction - overacting. They try too hard to "act" as a character, without simply "being" a character.

Every actor in Cloverfield gave wonderfully understated performances of their characters who, although not blatantly obvious, are all unique and interesting in their own right. It's in the way that they look at each other, in the little side comments, in their reactions - a movie like this doesn't give an actor much room, but these actors took it and I'm very happy with the result.

Of course, I guess "interesting" is subjective, and that seems to be half the hang-up. A lot of people seem annoyed that the main characters are all 20-something rich and beautiful people, and thus don't like them. I know it's a horror cliche, but it works for this movie - the reason for the home video look is so it relates to the Youtube, self-documenting generation, which is the generation of the main characters.

As for the characters themselves, though...the Rolling Stones review went on and on about this, and as I was reading I realized something. He didn't really have a problem with the presentation of the characters - he just didn't like those kinds of people. The "walking MySpace profiles who don't get any hits"..."hateful yuppie[s]"...and that goes across the board for many reviews. What is it with these people? Do the characters in Cloverfield harken back to some grudge on the popular kids back in high-school? Why is it that people can't allow themselves to connect with characters like this? They're people too, and they're people who have the same need for others and for survival and everything else as the rest of us.

Of course...if I need to spend all this time explaining the characters to you, then perhaps that means the movie didn't do a good enough job on its own. Still, I think the characters are there and somehow people have missed them. Ah well.

Sorry, I didn't mean for the post to go this long, but it's honestly a bit discouraging for a movie I love so much to get such mediocre reviews. I know they shouldn't affect my opinion of it, but I guess they kinda do. Oh well. Once the theaters clear out a bit I plan on watching it again, several more times. Perhaps by then I'll have a truly definitive word on it.

-jason <><

My Hidden Genius

2008-01-21T21:18:00.000-08:00

So I've been going through some old stories and outlines of ideas I've worked on in the past. Some of it's actually kind of good, and I've been enjoying myself. I especially love when I come across an outline of an unfinished project that I'd forgotten. There are some pretty interesting beginnings that I've never gotten around to that I'd love to pick up again someday.

But my absolute favorite was one I just ran into a minute ago. It's a brainstorming list of ideas for thrillers, since I love them and have always wanted to write one. And one of the ideas, in its absolute entirety, was:

"Some guy in a house."

Wow. I seriously have no idea where I was going with this one, but all I can say is I'm sure disappointed I never got around to finishing this little gem. I'm sure it would have been a masterpiece.

-jason <><

You Know What's Really Cool?

2008-01-20T11:21:00.001-08:00

Having the power in your whole dorm building turned off in the middle of the night. You know why? Because that means that your cpap machine turns off at 4, meaning that since you went to bed at 2 last night you only got 2 hours of actual sleep (the rest don't count, seriously). But that's not all! You also get the effects of the power turning back on later - meaning your cpap is suddenly blowing hard into your face, your printer starts printing some kind of test page, and your toaster's making this really annoying clicking sound, all while your alarm clock is flashing 12:00 at you, mocking you because you have no idea what horrid hour it is at the moment.

Then you're so tired and fuzzy-minded in the morning that you get ready way too slowly, are finally ready to leave for church after everybody else has already left, and run up to the parking lot only to remember that your sister took the car much earlier that morning. So now you're stuck at the dorm. Reading your Bible and listening to worship music. So I guess God pulls some good out of anything...

Happy fun time!!

-jason <><

CLOVERFIELD = VERY FREAKING YES

2008-01-19T01:17:00.000-08:00

I almost can't wrap my mind around the fact that some people hate it so much. I was totally blown away. And oh yeah...

...IT SCARED THE %@*?!#& $#!% OUT OF ME!!!!!!!!

-jason <><

Fear

2008-01-15T20:16:00.000-08:00

This is a post in response to another post by the far more prolific Meghan Smith, although it's something I've thought about a lot before.

The question, more or less, is: how is it that movies can scare us? What is it about scary movies that wrecks our nerves and wears us out? I love the idea of being able to incite fear in viewers (bwahaha), and making scary (though preferably not gory) movies is something I really want to get into some day. So what makes for a good, scary movie? I've decided it boils down to three things:

1: Shock

This is the technique that people are probably most familiar with. In some cases it can be the cheapest technique to use - anybody can make a movie where big, loud, obnoxious things are jumping out at you from every corner. Still, when something sudden or unexpected happens it does kick in our defensive reflexes, which adds to the overall feeling of being on the edge (and makes for a brief adrenaline rush).

Shock is about more than just startling viewers, though. Movie-makers can often shock people through disturbing or gross images. And while I don't love gross/gory movies in general, it can be an effective way of placing the audience into a situation that they're uncomfortable in, thus putting them on uneven ground. Of course, if a movie just spends all its time being gross, then that's all it'll ever be: gross. There are other, possibly more important, techniques that can be used to scare viewers:

2: Uncertainty

This is another very useful technique, although you might never even notice it. It's the staple of any suspense movie, and can be extremely effective if used properly.

Uncertainty goes back to the most basic of human fear. We're afraid of the dark because we can't see what's out there. We panic when we get lost because that means we're in an unfamiliar situation. And we get worried when we're home alone and hear the house creak, because who knows what that sound could mean.

All these exact situations and many others are constantly being used by movies to worry and possibly frighten viewers. You can even combine this technique with the last one: shock the viewers just enough, and they'll spend the rest of the movie unsure of what might happen next. M. Night Shyamalan is famous for building up suspense only to have nothing really happen. Keeps the viewers on uneven ground, which is exactly where you want them.

The catch with this technique, as with all the others, is finding a balance. If your viewers are constantly wondering what's going on and never given a chance to see a glimpse of the truth, they'll get frustrated. It's happened frequently with Lost, as they keep bringing up questions with few answers (which I still enjoy, but causes many people to get impatient). And sometimes the payoff can be a letdown: one major criticism of Shyamalan's Signs was that when the alien is finally revealed it's a bit disappointing. So this technique should definitely be used with care, as should this last one:

3: Helplessness

This technique, when used effectively, is probably the scariest and most intense of any of the three. Almost every great scary moment in movie history has a bit of helplessness in it:

Rear Window: The famous scene where Jeff is watching Lisa break into the apartment across the street, and the villain comes in, making his way through the apartment. Neither he or Lisa can see each other, and all Jeff can do is watch helplessly, unable to shout or draw attention to himself. It's probably one of the most tense scenes I've ever seen, simply because his inability to help is so aggravating.

Scream: Which I don't necessarily recommend overall but which has a fantastically disturbing scene at the beginning - the victim, injured by the villain, tries to flag down her parents who are walking into the house. The agony comes in seeing her try in vain to scream for help, as her throat is cut and she can't make a noise. The villain eventually grabs her and finishes the job. It's an incredibly effective scene that still haunts me.

Wait Until Dark: The entire ending sequence, where the intensity comes from the simple fact that through all Susy's efforts, she is really not much of a match for Mr. Roat. Despite the fact that she wins out in the end, I never really get the feeling that she can overpower him. Her helplessness makes the scene.

There are many other examples (and a couple in video games, where this technique is horribly underused), but suffice it to say that this is probably the greatest of the fear techniques, if used sparingly. If the whole movie is packed with one helpless moment after another then the audience will just get tired, or annoyed at the stupidity of the characters (if that's what's causing the helplessness).

And that's my analyzation. One of those things I just wanted to get down on paper, although I hope you enjoyed reading it. Someday, hopefully, I'll be able to use all these ideas in an actual production, instead of just a blog post.

until then,

-jason <><

Mini-Rant

I'm putting this at the end because I don't know who all will care about it, so don't bother reading if you don't feel like it. But here's my mini-rant about why scary video games usually suck:

Seems like most game designers only know anything about shocking gamers, because they work pretty freaking hard at it. Never mind gameplay or story or any of those other techniques, let's make a game with the most twisted, demented, flesh-rending creatures possible! Only they end up not really being that scary because:

1) You're rarely helpless. Yeah, a lot of these games give you limited ammo, but who cares? You're a freaking super soldier that can take out, like, 5 million zombies with an axe. When you get shotgun cartridges it's more like a bonus. Besides, the lack of ammo can just get annoying more than anything.

2) There's not much uncertainty. Except for the prospect that there might be something lurking around that corner, you generally know where to go, what the zombies look like, and how to deal with them. Sure the monsters were scary the first few times you saw them, but after seeing the exact same creature model so many times a second, it gets old.

That's why I plan to make an actually scary, mostly non-violent horror game someday. I hope you'll enjoy it when its done (like 20 years from now). Mini-rant over.

The Great Update Sentence

2008-01-10T09:02:00.000-08:00

I figure it's been a while since...well, anything, but it's especially been a while since I've given a proper update on my life, and there's been quite a lot of life that's happened lately. So here you go:

Well I finally finished school last quarter with an amazing 2.05 GPA which at least means I'm passing but not much else but I'm not really too worried about it since it's just because my UW grades didn't transfer and I got a couple fluke classes that I really didn't do that bad in but my grades died anyway so whatever but the best part about getting the 2.05 GPA is that MY QUARTER IS FINISHED and I don't have to think about the history of East Asia or watch terrible student movies for two hours anymore and I could just go on Christmas break which is exactly what I did except it wasn't so much a "break" I guess since I was still working and I once again couldn't see everyone I wanted to see and in fact I couldn't even make it to the Crossroads college group Christmas party which I was really looking forward to but I had McDonald's for lunch (for the last time in my life) and it made me sick for a whole weekend but soon enough I got better and I had a fantastic Christmas (everything was a day earlier like in Germany) and I got a NINTENDO WII which is something I've been wanting ever since it was first announced and I also got Zelda for it which I of course played like crazy since I couldn't really take the Wii up to Western since I don't have a TV but I beat it which left me feeling vaguely depressed because it was so good (more on that game later anyway) and then some of my friends from Capernwray came over which has been amazing because three of them were at my house for a week then one took off and the others followed me up here where I've started school again and fortunately it looks like me classes will be much easier this quarter and I'll be able to get grades not that that's what school's all about but I'd like better than a 2.05 GPA anyway.

THE END.

-jason <><

Mini-Review Mania!

2007-12-17T09:29:00.000-08:00

The movies I choose to watch are very particular. I don't stick to any individual genre or style or time period or anything like that. If a movie interests me, I watch it, for my own particular reasons.

Thus, the odd collection of movies I've watched lately: Blade Runner, Dr. Strangelove, Hotel Rwanda and Surf's Up. No I was not roped into any of these, I chose them on my own accord. Scary, huh?

Blade Runner

I basically watched this cause I felt like I had to. Aside from 2001: A Space Odyssey (which I also have yet to see), it is considered to be THE science fiction classic. And judging from the production values, I can see why it's been so influential. The special effects are still not dated in any way, and the dark, gritty, realistic vision of a dystopian future (whatever "dystopian" even means) was either a first, or at least the first to get it right. However, at the risk of being lynched by every filmmaker in the world, the rest of the movie was horribly obscure, overwrought, and BORING. Seriously...boring. No matter what style of filmmaking you use, a movie should absolutely never, EVER be boring.

See here's my criteria for obscure movies like this: if I don't get the very basic, foundational premise of the movie the first time I see it, it's not worth my time. There are many, many much more successful and intelligent people out there who would strongly disagree with me, but I stand by that idea. I absolutely love movies that reveal more and more layers the more times you watch them, but if I have to watch it several times before I can even *enjoy* it, that's just ridiculous. Apparently that's what this movie is designed for, and apparently I don't care. Moving on.

Dr. Strangelove

Yet another movie I felt like I had to see, and yet another disappointment. It's my first Stanley Kubrick movie (a big rite of passage for a wannabe filmmaker, for sure), and frankly I'm not impressed. Maybe people love it because of it's political themes, or maybe because it's Kubrick who many film geeks worship as a deity, or maybe it's just because of the ridiculous amount of sexual innuendo. I don't know. All I know is that when Peter Sellers was on the screen (as one of three roles), he was brilliant (and I hear he improvised many of his lines himself). When he wasn't, or when he wasn't given much to work with, the movie was muddled and unfunny. It was like it couldn't tell whether it wanted to be a comedy or a thriller - if it had chosen one or the other it might have been good, but alas. Still moving on.

Hotel Rwanda

My roommate really wanted me to see this, and I'm glad I finally got the chance to. As far as respecting and presenting the subject matter goes, this movie was fantastic. It was interesting seeing the Rwandan genocide from the perspective of the Rwandans, and I of course got angry at all the right spots (the rest of the world almost inexplicably doing nothing about it). Don Cheadle gave a great performance, though maybe not Oscar-worthy. However, as I often am with movies based on true stories, I was a little disappointed with how Hollywoodized the story became for the film. Again, I didn't feel like they were disrespecting the original story (the man the story was based off of was heavily involved with the project), but there were just too many times where I felt that they were trying to inject extra drama into the story where it wasn't needed. Too many close calls and near-misses (all related to what actually happened, but generally exaggerated) - if they had just let the story be the story, this movie would have easily been gripping and fascinating enough. Still, a far superior choice to those last two movies. And finally moving on to...

Surf's Up

I was SO close to loving this movie. So so so very close. I, like everyone else in the world, thought the premise looked dumb at first. I mean really. Surfing penguins. Yeah. But once I caught on to the "mockumentary" angle, found out that Shia LeBeouf was in it (who I hugely respect as an actor), and watched the trailer which was actually funny, I decided I had to see it.

For a while, it was truly a fantastic movie. The mockumentary style worked brilliantly and was very original, and it added an unusual depth of realism to an animated movie. The voice acting was perfect. The movie was hilarious. And the best part of all - it dodged the typical family movie cliches wonderfully. Teenage kid wants to surf, isn't very good, stumbles upon this great surfing legend everyone thinks is dead hiding in the jungle, and they form a sort of bond. Sounds ridiculous but the writing very easily avoids any groans that could come from this sort of set-up. My favorite bit was when the kid finally got this great surfing legend back into the water - he gets all excited and cocky and tells the camera crew that he could easily win the contest now (which starts in three days), because now he's got this great surfing legend to train him and make him an amazing surfer by then. And I laughed because that is SUCH a typical ending for this sort of movie.

And then...that's exactly what happened.

Okay, not "exactly". The kid *could* have won, very easily, but instead sacrificed his first place position to knock the bad guy out of the way so his friend could win instead. The bad guy who absolutely walked all over everyone, including the great surfing legend himself - suddenly this kid can beat him. And it's not just the implausibility that bothered me. The movie had definitely been setting up for something different. The legend had been so emphatic to the kid that this contest didn't matter, none of this mattered, he just needed to learn to relax and have fun. And the kid had such major character development throughout, going from this cocky, wants-to-be-on-top kind of kid to someone who's okay with not winning. I wanted SO badly for him to lose, or maybe not even join in the contest, but no. Because it's a "famliy movie", they had to let him win. It was very disappointing.

Still, up until that point it is definitely a movie worth watching and even after that point it at least continues to be funny. So it's not a waste of time, it's still a good movie. Just bittersweet.

Thus comes the end of my run of mini-reviews. Hope you enjoyed reading them, though I more or less just wanted to get my thoughts down on paper.

later,

-jason <><

And He Picks Me Up Again

2007-12-09T18:09:00.000-08:00

One of the big drawbacks to having an anger problem (and there are many, trust me) is constantly needing to "clean up" after yourself.

When you're sitting alone in your dorm room at a small Bible school and you're so angry at the world that you punch through a window, chances are good that the sound will attract many people. And the look on their faces when they realize this wasn't an accident, this was the result of the boy who's sitting, shaking, on his bed...it's hard to describe. Their faces show a mix of embarrassment, uncertainty and pity that is probably one of the most shameful things I've ever experienced. How did I let things go this far?

When you get so angry over a break-up that you go out to the school parking lot, pick up a huge rock and start viciously beating your own car with it, you're far too blind and apathetic to notice the two guys sitting in the car next to you, scared out of their minds. Not to mention you're now faced with over $900 in damage that you're somehow supposed to pay out of your summer job money. Why do I care so little about the consequences?

It's always something. Calling to apologize after attempting to strangle a kid during class. Enduring the looks of apprehension as your friends come into the room, wondering what the screaming and banging was all about. Sitting in the principle's office in fourth grade, sobbing, because you just hit a kid in the back of the leg with a hockey stick, and can't possibly express how much you truly hate yourself for it now. Or simply that horrible, sinking feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach when you find out that your sister just threw up because she was so scared to hear her brother scream and curse like that - that feeling that makes you wish you had never, in your entire life, ever raised your voice against anyone.

What can I say? Why shouldn't people be scared of me? Why shouldn't everyone just turn and run when they see me coming, wondering what I'll do next? Questions I don't always have the answer to. You can only imagine how scared I am sometimes to think that I'll someday be a husband and a father, and still possibly have to deal with this.

But see, there's this God I know. And He looks out for me so much it's ridiculous. I should have cut myself horribly on that window, but I wasn't hurt at all. I was gonna go after my ex-girlfriend's car in the parking lot, but it wasn't there. Living with these issues really should have alienated me forever, but God's given me an incredible family and amazingly strong friends that have lived through it all and still support me. And for every apology I've ever had to make, every damage bill I've had to pay, God's been there to pick me back up, dust me off, and keep me on my way. I'm a work-in-progress, but He loves me way too much to let me, or anyone else, fall because of this.

God, you continue to amaze me.

-jason <><

My Head's in the Clouds, But My Heart's in the Stars

2007-12-07T23:26:00.000-08:00

A few days ago, I told God that I wanted to feel alive again. Amidst health problems and sleep deprivation and just general listlessness, I felt very much in limbo. And I wanted, more than anything, to just feel like I was actually living.

God answered that prayer tonight.

There's this thing my old high-school, Bellevue Christian School, puts on every year around Christmas called the Madrigal Feast. A big medieval-themed Christmas dinner which culminates with a concert by the BCS chamber choir, Kantorei (a select group of about 18 people). I've always loved Madrigal but wasn't planning on going until a friend of mine seemingly out of nowhere offered me a free ticket.

I could go on about the choral program at BCS in general, or even just the abilities of this year's group in particular. But what really happened to me was something way beyond all that. I'm not one to get mystical about spiritual issues, I can often be pretty cut-and-dry about it, but...man, by the seventh song in particular (yes I counted), I seriously felt like my heart was flying through the roof. God reminded me of why I'm living, why I'm here, not with words or thoughts like usual, but just through beauty. That's it, just pure beauty in music. I was absolutely amazed.

Thank you God, you obviously know me way more than I know myself, and you knew exactly what I needed. You are amazing and I love you.

-jason <><

Plan B - Once Again

2007-11-29T11:25:00.000-08:00

Well since I've already revealed the big news to some of you, I guess it's time to let it all out: I'm finally, officially putting a stop to the novel. In some ways this is kind of a sad thing for me - it's been a lot of fun to write (when I've gotten around to it), and a great way to flesh out the characters and background and everything. But 1) it takes much longer for me to write a story in novel form, and 2) it's not the form I wanted the story to end up in anyway.

And that is why I've finally moved on to writing the SCRIPT!! This is a GIANT leap of faith for me, because the chances of getting a novel published someday are much greater than getting a studio to buy the options for a script and giving it the proper funding, etc. But even while writing the novel I always knew I would never be satisfied if that's all it was - I came up with this story with the intention of being told visually and dramatically, and that's how I intend to do it.

And in case you don't really feel like this is relevant to you, here's the part you should care about: since the novel is not being written anymore, I have no real qualms about anyone seeing what I've written so far. So without further ado...Plan B Chapters 1 and 2!!!:

Chapter 1 - Running Away Very Fast
Chapter 2 - Something Particularly Desperate

(I only ever wrote four chapters, and I might let you see chapters 3 and 4 if I feel like they're relevant enough to the final product; but these first two should give you a pretty good idea of where the story is going.)

And I need to say something here: I hope anyone who reads will realize that I am very serious about this story. That's the impression I've been trying to give all along, what with the secretive Plan B blog (which I've opened up to everyone again, and I plan to keep up) and constant references to my working on it and everything. It's frustrating to have such a low work ethic sometimes, especially when it comes to "secondary" projects like this, and I know it's kinda ambitious to be writing a full-fledged movie script when I'm still in college, but...you just need to know that this story really does mean a lot to me. Of all the story ideas I come up with, some I hate (and forget soon, hopefully), some I like (which I might forget too), some I really like (which I try not to forget), and then there's Plan B. Which I love. I love the characters, I love the story, I love the world, it's my single favorite thing I've ever created, and unless God strikes me with lighting while shopping my script around, you will see this story told on screen someday. Just a matter of when.

So I hope you enjoy this first installment. I'll keep you updated on the script writing!

-jason <><

MAJOR UPDATE ON LIFE

2007-11-03T21:23:00.000-07:00

So as anyone might guess from the over-abundance of posts I've had recently, I'm still settling in to the whole college thing. Trying to balance class with homework with screwing around and doing nothing (I don't recommend doing as much of that as I have, though...), it gets pretty nuts. Plus, pretty much every ounce of extra creativity I have I'm putting towards campaigning for Dreamsleep. (Which you've told all your friends about, right? Right?!?!) So while millions of ideas and projects are always bouncing around in my head, I have little time for them. BUT, there's hope!! As soon as the voting for Dreamsleep is over and all I have left to do is sit and be nervous, I'm gonna be kicking it into high gear again! Here's all the stuff you have to look forward to:

A HUGE AMAZING WEBSITE OF AWESOMENESS!!!

Seriously, this is not your average website. I'm ridiculously happy with how it's coming along, I've just got to get back into it and finish it up. It'll have everything, a brand new blog, a videos section (to beat the nasty quality Youtube is so proud of...), an original music section (more on that in a second), plus some slightly unusual "bornofdust-ish" surprises that I think you'll really enjoy. That's the bit I'm most excited about anyway.

And to accompany the website, I will be presenting...

JASON'S FIRST ALBUM OF ORIGINAL PIANO MUSIC!!!

It's recorded, it's mostly put together, now I just need a way to distribute it. And as badly as I was working to get it duplicated and printed and everything all shiny, it was gonna cost me too much, and you too much. So I've done all of you a huge service and made it totally free. Once the website's up, the album will be up, and I really hope you all enjoy it.

And last but far from least...

MAJOR PLAN B NEWS COMING SOON!!!

I don't know if you'll consider it good or bad news, but at least from my perspective it's very good. Ha, now you want to know what it is, don't you? I thought so. Well just see if I tell you. Buh buh buh. Wait a week or two. :P

That's all for now. I'll keep you posted on Dreamsleep, and all the other goings-on of my life!

-jason <><

P.s. AHHHH I really wanna tell you the Plan B news now!! No no no, must wait, must wait...errrggghhhh...

Dear God,

2007-10-22T23:50:00.000-07:00

I'm kinda tired of being fucked with.

Sincerely,

-jason <><

P.s. Sorry for the language and the vaguely angsty post...I just figured this is a prayer that just about everybody can relate to on some level.

Dreamsleep

2007-10-20T01:17:00.000-07:00

Well anybody who reads this blog will probably be familiar with this already, but in case you check this blog from under a rock somewhere...

As soon as the website is up, you can go to http://www.apple.com/education/insomnia to search for our film and vote for it! And you must vote for it! I can't stress this fact enough!

VOTE VOTE VOTE!!!

-jason <><

SOMEBODY SAVE ME

2007-10-15T22:57:00.000-07:00

From the evils of the internet. I swear this place is like a black hole. It sucks you in slowly until you're trapped, and it eats your brain. Okay maybe black holes don't do that. Point is, I waste WAY too much time on the internet. Not tomorrow though. I refuse. One day at a time...

-jason <><

Hypnotized

2007-10-06T13:07:00.000-07:00

I had the craziest dream a few nights ago.

I meant to write about this way sooner, but the dream's stuck so well with me that it doesn't even matter. And this isn't one of those super crazy "what the heck is going on" kind of dreams. What stuck with me is how disturbingly real it was.

I don't remember all the details, but I remember the important bits: I met this girl. She was a hypnotist. (I mean literally, not like "she was hypnotizingly beautiful" or whatever.) But the thing is, the people she was hypnotizing didn't really know about it. It wasn't like they hired her to help them sleep or something, they would come expecting some kind of counsel, and she would slowly lure them into a state of hypnosis until she could start planting her ideas into their head. It was slightly disturbing to watch, but for the most part I was just thinking "Wow. They're so weak. That would never work on me."

At some point her latest client left and it was just me and her. We started talking, although of course my defenses were way up. No way she was getting through to me. And she asked me something, I can't remember what, but it involved some level of trust, like she wanted to meet with me privately sometime (we were in kind of a public place there). I responded, half jokingly, that I couldn't imagine trusting someone who made a living off of controlling people's minds. But she just laughed, laughed like it was the funniest thing she had ever heard. And I looked into her eyes and I didn't see any malice, nothing fake at all. All I saw was a genuine affection, an honest desire to be with me and talk with me and get to know me more.

In short, she had me.

The only reason the rest of the dream isn't hideously embarassing is because it didn't really happen, I guess. Still, it felt quite real. My affections for this unknown hypnotist girl felt very real. Even my desire to kiss her when her face came too close was very real. And there were a couple more events that I don't really care to mention (this was a bit sketchier than the average dream...), but I didn't discover what was actually going on until I woke up. She was seducing me. Quite effectively.

I'm not entirely sure why this dream stuck with me so much. Maybe because it disturbed me a little that I was so much more susceptible than I thought I would be. Maybe it was the fact that my weakness for girls in particular seemed to shine through so strongly. Whatever the reason, this dream has haunted me for several days now. Maybe there's something to learn from it.

-jason <><

P.s. By the way, as revealing as the dream was, it's not a revelatory dream from God, in case that idea comes to anybody's mind. If it was, I would be 100% certain of it the moment I woke up, but this didn't feel like anything more than a regular dream. Not that He can't use it, of course.

Why Disneyland > Everything

2007-09-18T10:22:00.000-07:00

[Note: This post is going to warrant some feedback. All I want to know, basically, is: Disneyland or Six Flags? Give me your opinion on this age-old debate...]

After spending about 4 days in the Happiest Place On Earth, I am more convinced than ever that Disneyland is just about the most amazing...thing...ever invented. Seriously.

Now first of all you should know that I'm not a fan of roller coasters. I'm not afraid of them necessarily, and I don't tend to get motion sick from them (well sometimes I do), but for the most part I just don't like them. They're too fast and crazy and annoying for my taste. So if you're one of these people who aren't Disneyland fans because it's not "thrilling" enough, well I guess we just won't see eye-to-eye on that one.

Still, there's one major thing that Disneyland will always have that no other amusement park could ever compete with: creativity. You don't go to Disneyland for the rides. If all you want to do is get thrown around a whole bunch for a few days, then go to Six Flags. But if you want to have a chance to actually enter an entirely different world, to see things like you've never seen them before, then Disneyland is the place. Every single little nuance of the entire place is so perfectly crafted to transport you to a time or place completely different than where you come from, it continually blows my mind. Not just everyone, but everyTHING is always in character. The attention to detail and the constant creativity and innovation is absolutely amazing to me.

Plus there's something for everyone, and I really actually mean that. There are the typical cheap cafeteria-like places you find in every theme park, but there are also some really nice restaurants (the Blue Bayou is an incredible place to eat). There are shows targeted towards kids (like the pirate show with a very talented Jack Sparrow look-alike), shows targeted towards adults (the Laughingstock improv group were very good) and shows targeted towards everyone (I'm a huge fan of Billy Hill and the Hillbillies). And I don't care how old or theme-park-experienced you are, you've gotta love Splash Mountain. Seriously.

All in all I had a fantastic time, and as with anything creative, this trip has hugely inspired me. Of course now I'm on a frenzy of theme park ideas, but I do have other things to attend to. Such as Plan B. I will be back on that shortly, no worries.

Oh and as I said, I want to hear from people on this one. Everyone seems to have an opinion on this topic, and I'm sure you do too. Although if you don't like Disneyland, your opinion is wrong. Just so you know. :P

-jason <><

For Shame

2007-09-11T08:53:00.001-07:00

Changed my mind again. You'll have to wait a little longer for the "upgrade", but you can see what that post was about.

This is a short film I made for a competition at filmaka.com. I don't think it's gonna win anything at this point, but it was good to get the experience.

-jason <><

Pardon Our Dust...

2007-09-08T08:56:00.000-07:00

Actually you'll have to wait a little longer to find out the deal with that post, sorry. :P Some big changes coming up that I'm really excited about. Just hold on for a couple weeks or so, this blog's gonna get a face-lift...

-jason <><

Yeah...

2007-08-31T23:45:00.001-07:00

That last post will make sense later.

For Shame Credits

2007-08-31T23:29:00.000-07:00

CREW

Director/Writer/Producer/Editor/Composer: Jason Ericson

Cinematographer: Easton Thomas

Checkers: Andy Rock

CAST

Main Character: Jason Ericson
Girl: Beth Morrell
Man In Leather Jacket: James Ross
Police: Gary Ericson

Special thanks to Samena Swim Club for letting us use their locker room!

"Isn't she...?"

2007-08-20T20:45:00.000-07:00

Isn't she...?

-by gabriel wilson

Isn't she lovely?
Isn't she lovely?
Isn't she beautiful?
Isn't she lovely?
Isn't she lovely?
But she doesn't see.

As she approaches me,
so gracefully her hands
reach out to bless.
Her eyes are clear,
they tell me all her loves and fears,
and how there's no regret.
And as she talks, her face has
the countenance of angels
and their glow.
And as she leaves, I will hang
the memory of her face
and she
never will know.

Isn't she lovely?
Isn't she lovely?
Isn't she beautiful?
Isn't she lovely?
Isn't she lovely?
But she doesn't see.

As she slowly breathes
all of these, our kisses,
you can hear.
It's the poetry of motioning
for me to come
closer to her spirit.
The grace of which no one sees,
but simply she has saved herself
for me.
She's the light by which Heaven's seen
to give to me
seven strings;
this her gift to me.

Isn't she lovely?
Isn't she lovely?
Isn't she beautiful?
Isn't she lovely?
Isn't she lovely?
But she doesn't see.

Isn't she lovely?
Isn't she lovely?
Isn't she beautiful?
Isn't she lovely?
Isn't she lovely?
But she doesn't see.

I Think I Might Have Just Committed A Sin

2007-08-18T22:39:00.001-07:00

Yep. I watched High School Musical 2.

Now I could make up some excuse about how, as a prospective film director, I need to watch a wide variety of movies to expand my knowledge of film in general, but the simple truth is that I just liked the first one and wanted to watch this one. Yes, that's right. I liked the first one. Bite me.

Yeah the first one was over-the-top, yeah the writing was sub-par, but the music was pretty good (coming from an avid musician with a particular dislike towards musicals in general), the choreography was excellent, and it was just a lot of fun to watch in general. Which is what movies are for, right? Entertainment? Yes no maybe? Well anyway I went into this one not sure what to expect, but I knew I should watch it, so I did.

Can I really commit the same crime twice in a row? Well I guess I did. I liked this one too.

It's hard to say if I liked it "better". Some parts were better, some not. It was still way over the top, which honestly works perfectly for these movies. And the writing was still sub-par, maybe a bit better. But the music...oi that's a hard one. For one thing, the music made a very LARGE step towards more R&B kind of songs, which I found annoying. And for some reason this time around they felt the strong urge to layer on stupid amounts of (bad) effects on the vocals, which drove me crazy (on most songs, not all). But some of the music I really enjoyed, especially "What Time Is It?", "You Are The Music In Me" and "All For One" (yes I'm looking these names up, I haven't memorized the movie).

The choreography was amazing, much better than the first one (which was already good), and absolutely exploding with passion and energy. The whole movie resonated with energy, and however bad a movie might be, that's something that I can never seem to resist. Even on some of the songs that I didn't like initially (like "All For One"), I couldn't help but get into it eventually as their passion showed straight through. I have very little patience for movies (or any work of art) without any kind of passion, but this movie absolutely had it.

But the one thing that really saved this movie more than anything else was the chemistry between Troy (Zac Efron) and Gabriella (Vanessa Anne Hudgens). It was present in the first movie but it was unbelievable in this one. It's not just their acting ability - which is good anyway, especially on Zac's part - it's just one of those things you can't predict, and honestly, most directors would KILL to get chemistry that good. In fact, I'd go out on a limb and say it's just about the best I've ever seen in any movie, ever. It helped that they started out the movie as a couple (and went through the usual bumps in the road, albeit much shorter and less painful and easily remedied by a good song), an unusual move for a Disney anything. And despite whatever writing flaws, I really truly believed in them as a couple, and really truly was rooting for their relationship. Doesn't happen too often.

And there's my review, in a nutshell. I don't know that I expect many other people my age or gender to appreciate a movie like this, but hey. Their loss I guess.

-jason <><

Ugh

2007-08-04T23:50:00.000-07:00

This has got to be one of the most depressing ads I've ever seen:

Oh yeah, I have a blog...

2007-08-03T22:16:00.000-07:00

Lots of stuff been happening lately.

Plan B
Yup, another Plan B update.

Harry Potter
Harry Potter happened, and it happened very, very well. It ended just about perfectly, I couldn't have possibly asked for better. And although I'm usually not a big fan of closure at the end of a story, I have to admit that I very much enjoyed the whole "tying all the ends together tidily" epilogue at the end. It fit the series perfectly, and it fit JK Rowling's writing style perfectly. And oh yeah, when Voldemort finally died, I can't remember ever being so happy while reading a book in my entire life. All in all, an excellent read.

Of course, if you're already were a fan you didn't need me to tell you that, and if you weren't a fan then nothing I just said would possibly change your mind now, so who knows why I even wrote it.

Short Film
I've just recently started working on a short film I want to enter into a competition at Filmaka.com. They have a theme every month and this month's theme is "The Voyeur". Naturally my first thought, as a sophisticated, cultured purveyor of the cinematic arts, was "ew". But after a while an idea popped into my head that was actually interesting and not quite so disturbing, and that idea will become a reality by the end of this month. Look out for it!

Piano Album
For those of you who don't know, I'm making a CD of (mostly) original piano music, which I plan to have finished by the time I head up to Western (so mid-September). Hope you'll all be buying a copy! (Yes, "buying", I'm not exactly the richest college student in the world...)

That's all for now. I be talking to ya later.

-jason <><

Breakthrough!!

2007-07-21T08:31:00.001-07:00

We made a video of Breakthrough! And it's pretty freaking sweet! So you should all watch it! Sorry if all these videos slow down your browser. But you should still watch them.

NOTE: Be sure to go to the actual Youtube pages these are on too, I have a lot more notes on what's going on in each video.

Part 1:

Part 2:

Part 3:

Part 4:

CWU News Broadcast (playing in the propaganda room):

And now I'll continue my patient wait for Harry Potter...should be coming any time now...

-jason <><

Fancy Schmancy

2007-07-18T23:24:00.000-07:00

I've been messing around with new looks, and I kinda liked this one. A little stereotypical, although my last one was probably even more so.

Speaking of stereotypical design, I gave another small update on my Plan B blog. Other than that, I got nothing. Nothin'. I got nothin'.

-jason <><

Harry Potter 8

2007-07-17T15:26:00.000-07:00

Well anybody who's anybody has their speculations about what's coming up in the seventh and (supposedly) final Harry Potter book, but what about the inevitable eighth? It's bound to happen, and I think this guy is spot-on with his predictions (my dad sent me these):

Harry and Ginny marry, but have trouble conceiving. Hermione develops a clever conception spell which results in Ginny carrying dodecuplets. A simple uterine charm allows her to go full-term. She puts on over 300 pounds at nine months. Harry loves her anyway.
Unfortunately, things don't work out between Hermione and Ron, and they terminate their engagement. However, their patronus charms do produce a litter of baby patroni.
Ron, distraught over his breakup with Hermione, marries Luna Lovegood. The coupling is annulled, however, when it is discovered that Luna is already married to Rubeus Hagrid.
Rebounding again, Ron marries Fleur Delacour, creating a nasty rift in the family. However, Ron cannot tolerate Fleur's beloved Münster cheese ("Wha' is that reek? Fleur? Your breath smells like a used baby napkin!"), so Fleur leaves Ron and goes back to Bill. On the plus side, this restores Weasley family harmony.
Cho founds a highly successful cosmetics chain. She is later convicted of insider trading and goes to jail. This skyrockets her popularity, and no news broadcast is complete without the mandatory Cho reference. A book giving the sordid details of her broken romance with Harry at Hogwarts makes her a best-selling author and, ironically, the richest woman in Great Britain.
Hermione Granger Longbottom is tragically widowed at a young age when her heroic husband, defeater of the dread Lord Voldemort, flies into a wall after downing a butterbeer at the neighborhood pub. For a time, Hermione renounces the magical world altogether and follows her father into dentistry. She rejoins the magical world only after excitement in the Muggle media caused by revelations that six of her patients each have forty-four perfect teeth, making Muggle scientists speculate about the continuing evolution of the human jaw.
Ron "Third time's a charm" Weasley courts the Widow Longbottom, and they finally wed and live happily ever after. Sadly, their patronus charms split, citing irreconcilable differences (Hermione's is an otter and Ron's a Jack Russell terrier).
Voldemort's terrifying return is vastly ameliorated when it's revealed that he has come back as Ron's new pet rat. Later investigation reveals that "Tom Marvolo Riddle" can be rearranged to spell "Om, I'm old Dr. Love Rat"

By the way, concerning the seventh book, if anybody, anywhere, ever even has the slightest thought cross their mind to spoil the ending for me, just be aware that you will be recorded in history books forever as the initiator of World War III. Just a warning.

-jason <><

Fantastic Day

2007-07-16T21:27:00.000-07:00

1) I got my electric guitar back from the repair shop and played it for the first time in maybe 2 years. So I spent some much-needed rocking out time after...

2) I got a job! Finally! I'll be working at the Kit's Camera in Kirkland, so if you're ever looking for a discount on camera equipment, don't hesitate to come over so I can smile patronizingly at you and explain that I can't do that because it would be Against Company Policy.

By the way there's a very small Plan B update, more to make the point that I am, in fact, still working on it and will definitely have it finished sometime before I die. Or before the end of the year, more like.

later,
-jason <><

What I Learned At Capernwray

2007-07-13T19:32:00.000-07:00

I realize I had promised to write a huge as post about my time at Capernwray, what God taught me, etc. But then I realized how seriously pointless it is to muck around with too many words. So here's everything I really need to say:

You can know God. And life isn't worth living without Him.

-jason <><

Ratatouille

2007-07-08T19:47:00.000-07:00

This movie did something to me that very few movies in my life have done. Usually I walk away from a movie either happy about it or annoyed about it or some mixture of both, but always with some kind of opinion. Either an appreciation of it or dislike of it. Sometimes I'll want to watch it again. Sometimes I'll wish I never had. Sometimes a movie can even affect me at a deeper level, like Children of Men or Pan's Labyrinth, and stick with me for days, even.

But what Ratatouille did was something that only a very special, very unique kind of movie could do: it floored me. It completely blew me away. It rendered me speechless. At least until I found my voice, at which point I did nothing but rave about it for as long as I could.

(Only three other movies have done this to me, and that would be Finding Nemo, The Incredibles, and Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban. All kid's movies, oddly enough, but that doesn't really bother me.)

The voice acting was incredible. Lou Romano, playing the voice of Linguini, gave the best voice-acting performance I've ever heard in animation. And speaking of animation, well, duh, it's Pixar. They somehow continue to top themselves. The characters were wonderful. The story was very rich and mature. Every time it had the potential to become sappy or overdramatic, it nicely sidestepped it and moved on. It was funny, it was romantic, it was engaging, it was even touching at times. Just an entirely fantastic moviegoing experience.

I could go on and on, but I'll spare you. You just need to watch it for yourself. And you might not see it quite the way I do, I tend to look at things more from a film-making perspective, but I'm quite sure you'll like it. I mean really. Go watch it.

-jason <><

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig

2007-06-26T16:22:00.000-07:00

Seattle-Tacoma airport, June 29, 2007, 4:19pm. Brace yourselves.

-jason <><

Just FYI

2007-06-09T05:04:00.000-07:00

I have been busy AS lately, so I don't plan to update for a little bit. (Be sure to check the latest Plan B update, though.) But I plan to give a big huge update at the end of semester, because Capernwray has been an absolutely unbelievable experience, and I want to be able to give you an idea of how my year here has been. Won't be too long, though, I promise. :P

later,
-jason <><

Dead Man

2007-06-05T00:25:00.000-07:00

In case you haven't heard about the coolest thing in the entire world yet, you'll find it at jarsofclay.com. Go there and click on "Remix a Jars Song" in the upper-left corner. They put a multi-track version of "Dead Man" up for download so fans could remix it, which I of course did immediately. Check out mine while you're there of course, there's one called "Dead Man (Coming Alive Mix)" and one called "Symphony of the Dead" (which I'm very proud of, personally). But check out some others too, my personal favorites being "Yo Tambien Mix" (by Easton of course) and "Spanish Surrogate" (by Erik Fikkert, a super cool guy I've emailed a couple times now).

Do it now!
-jason <><

HHHLLLLLAAAAAGGGLGLLLEFFJGH

2007-05-24T13:20:00.001-07:00

Yes, I just saw Pirates.

And yes, I saw it a day before any of you could.

And yes, it was absolutely amazing.

And no, if any of you didn't like it I'm not paying any attention to you, because it was incredible and there's no getting around it. Sure it was a bit too goofy and corny and over-the-top, but I would probably be disappointed if it *wasn't* any of those things. Point is, you really can't go wrong with a movie that has a giant pirate army, a huge, epic battle at the bottom of a whirlpool, and Jack trying to get to first base with a goat.

And yes, you should all go see it. Not like I needed to tell you that.

-jason <><

Oh yeah...

2007-04-28T14:07:00.000-07:00

I just realized you'll have to be a bit patient regarding that last post, since I won't have access to the internet very often. So just drop off your email address anyway, I'll get back to you as soon as I can.

-jason <><

It's Time For Plan B

2007-04-27T09:05:00.000-07:00

Um, no that doesn't mean I'll be publishing Plan B early. Kinda the opposite actually. BUT what I wanted to let you know was a decision I finally made that I've been wrestling with for a while - I've decided to make the Plan B blog private. This isn't because I don't want any of you reading it, it's simply because I'm that serious about getting this story published in a different form someday, and that prospect could be in danger if I were to just put the story right out there on the internet for anybody to see.

So if you want to read Plan B whenever I end up publishing it (check up on the latest update for that), just put your email address in the comments here or email me at bornofdust@gmail.com to let me know. If I know you personally, then I'll be more than happy to sign you up. If I don't, well, sorry. You'll have to wait till I publish the story for real someday.

And sorry, but you'll have to get a Blogger account to read it. You don't have to make a blog or anything, at least I don't think so...you'll get info on that when you get to it, though.

Looking forward to getting this thing done!

-jason <><

OH YEAH: Remember also that signing up to read Plan B comes with a disclaimer: I'll really want you to try and avoid showing the story to anybody else. I'm just wanting to control who it is that's reading the story. But you don't have to worry about that for a while. Just letting you know.

Dear God,

2007-04-23T01:12:00.001-07:00

This world is crazy.

Well okay, I don't know that the world is crazy so much as I'm crazy. Or at least I've got a screwed up...ugh! You really gave me a weird mind to live with. Always overthinking things and thinking over itself and going in circles and all kinds of crazy things. I've really become very good at taking a small situation and blowing it waaayyyy out of proportion. Okay seriously, I can take NO situation and turn it into a situation, and then blow THAT out of proportion. This is the mind You gave me, God, and I'm really wanting to know why right about now.

Is it too much to ask that I could maybe just live my life without thinking it through so much? I mean, I can't even write out this prayer without blaming myself for being overdramatic just for the sake of it. I'm always questioning my motives for things and I totally drive myself crazy sometimes. Am I living for You, am I living for myself, blah blahblah blah. Is this what You wanted when You asked me to drop everything and follow You? To always be wondering if that's what I'm doing? Why can't I just give everything to You and be done with it?

I know, I know, we've had this conversation before, and You answered in an incredible way, I really am thankful for that. Seriously, I really am. It's just...can You blame me for wondering sometimes?

Look, You know what I'm going through (or what I'm not going through but making a big deal of anyway...). I just need to talk to You about it because I know You understand me more than anyone else. More than myself. You are actually capable of taking this mess inside my mind and organizing it, making sense of it. There's no one else I can think of that can do that, especially not me. And I really do thank You for being so faithful in helping me with my problems. You know that's the only reason I keep bringing them to You, because You've promised to take on my anxieties, and You've followed through on that promise in so many ways. I guess it's just cool that the same God who was so faithful to the Israelites in the wilderness so many thousands of years ago is so faithful to me too. (I know I know, what a wonderfully spiritual thing to say, but I *have* been reading about them lately, so I was just thinking about it.) I really do thank You for that.

I love You so much. I've told You that before, but I need to keep reaffirming it. I really do love You.

In Jesus' Name,
Amen.

Quicky

2007-03-29T03:04:00.000-07:00

1) Plan B update. Check it out.

2) Who else is dying to read the last Harry Potter book?

Capernwray Breakthrough 2007 Promo

2007-03-26T22:22:00.001-07:00

This is a promo video my friend and I put together for Breakthrough, a youth event we put on at Capernwray (like that pirate one last year, only a different theme this time). It's not exactly pro quality, but I still think it's kinda cool.

The Best Mail Day Ever

2007-03-21T23:10:00.001-07:00

Things I got in the mail today:

1) My Office For Mac cd my parents sent me so I could install
PowerPoint, so I can put together a SWEET AS oral report for next
term (I'm reeeaaallly excited about this one).

2) 5 NEW LOST EPISODES that my parents also sent me because they are
awesome.

Aaaannnndddd...

3) My acceptance letter to Western!!! I wasn't really worried about
it, since I've actually been accepted before, but it's still sweet.

Ministry week soon! Happy days!

-jason <><

Random Ramblings

2007-03-05T00:44:00.001-08:00

These really are random, so I'll go for the list thing again:

1) So what's the deal with the Holy Spirit? I've been wrestling this question for a while now. I mean, we're supposed to all have the Holy Spirit, right? Well, for one thing, why is it that Christians now have it all the time and Jews before Jesus' time couldn't? (They could only have it for special periods of time.) And on that line, what does it actually mean to have the Holy Spirit in us? It seems like the only reason for anyone to have the Holy Spirit in the Old Testament was so they could prophesy and perform miracles (Numbers 11:24-25). (In fact, it kinda seems that way in the New Testament too.) Some people in the NT actually accepted Jesus' teaching first, but had to receive the Spirit later, through the hands of the apostles (Acts 8:15-17). And then they prophesied and spoke in tongues. Why doesn't that happen for every Christian then? Even Pentecostals don't speak in the sort of tongues they spoke in on the day of Pentecost, unless I'm much mistaken. The apostles on the day of Pentecost spoke in other human languages, Pentecostals speak in the "tongue of angels". WHICH MAY OR MAY NOT BE AN ACTUAL SPIRIT-GIVEN GIFT. (No WAY am I getting into that one right now...) So does that mean that the vast majority of Christians, in the western world anyway, don't actually have the Holy Spirit? And thus aren't actually saved? AH, so many more questions come up about this subject, but I'm leaving it at that for right now...

Um, moving on...

2) WATCH "UNITED 93". I tried to post this a few times but I don't think it ever actually got up on the blog. So read it now. And do it. It's absolutely the most powerful movie I've ever seen.

3) The almost unanimous opinion I've heard about the latest Switchfoot cd, Oh! Gravity., is that it's not all that good. I have no idea what people are talking about. I think this is a great cd. I guess I don't totally love all the songs like I did for Beautiful Letdown, but the really good ones (like "Oh! Gravity.", "Dirty Second Hands", "Faust, Midas, and Myself") kinda make that up for me. I like it a lot better than their last one anyway. Don't totally know why that is.

4) I discovered an absolutely GENIUS moment in Homestar that I've totally missed before. Just check out this sbemail: http://www.homestarrunner.com/sbemail53.html. A classic sbemail of course, but be sure to click the words "independent record store" at the end, and listen to the conversation. I couldn't stop laughing. It sounds EXACTLY like conversations I've had with my friends before. Two guys trying to one-up each other by pretending to know more about a pretty useless topic that they actually don't really know anything about anyway. I thought it was great, anyway.

5) By the way, as far as I'm concerned, Homestar has never ceased to be funny. Some people claim it's lost something, but I think it's as funny as it's ever been. The latest emails are awesome, especially "road trip" and "looking old".

6) The song "Awakening" on Oh! Gravity. sounds kinda like a Hilary Duff song. Which, um, isn't necessarily an insult. Crucify me if you have to, but I actually think she's pretty good. Or the people who write for her are, anyway.

7) Speaking of Hilary Duff, what the heck happened to Britney Spears?! I don't usually care about this sort of thing, but seeing pictures of her everywhere with a shaved head and tattoos and hearing that she attacked the paparazzi with an umbrella and everything has honestly piqued my curiosity a bit. So...what the heck is going on ?!?

8) I just read a snippet in the NZ paper about American politics, saying that apparently Obama's ancestors might have owned slaves, and now everybody's making a big freaking deal about it. First of all, tell me this isn't true, and second of all, when you tell me that it's true anyway, give me one good reason why I shouldn't seek out every politician in the world and kick them in the shins. WHY in the WORLD is this such a big stink?!? Sorry that he was BORN. Geez...

9) Why haven't you bought a copy of The Listening LP yet? (http://www.thelistening.com) Don't tell me it's because you've never heard of this cd before, because now you have, so no excuses. These guys are on the brink of either becoming an under-the-radar cult hit, or one of the most influential, ground-breaking Christian bands ever heard. No middle ground, and I definitely hope it's the latter.

10) School's going pretty good, by the way. Studies going strong, I'm paying much better attention to the lectures than last semester, and although I haven't written in Plan B for a week or so, that's still going pretty well. Um, I don't know if that last statement made any sense at all, but just pretend that it did. The only wrinkle in my life right now is that I have no real way to catch up with Lost (even when I can get to an internet cafe, internet is RIDICULOUSLY slow in NZ). I mean, this is enough to pretty much throw my whole life off track, but I'll try and carry this cross as best as I can.

I will be sure to update you more as often as I'm bored and decide that maybe it'd be a good idea. Or maybe even more often than that! Who knows.

later!

-jason <><

My Special Life

2007-02-15T18:54:00.000-08:00

Wow it's been a while.

1) I've been REALLY busy. I know that usually saying "I'm busy" is more of an excuse to avoid things, like updating my blog or talking to people back home, but this time I actually mean it. I've been INSANELY busy. I think that'll slow down this next week, but man it's been a slog the last couple weeks. Although...

2) I have managed to update my Plan B page, so be sure to check that out. It's just a brief thing.

3) The greatest dvd in the entire world is set to come out in about a month: Flesh and Bones: Electric Fun, a live dvd of Mute Math. I would give my left kneecap to buy this dvd. Fortunately it only costs, like, 20 bucks, but still. It's the thought that counts.

4) "Super-Charged Download Speeds." Psh. Me and a bunch of friends are pooling together whatever money we need to stay updated on Lost (i.e. internet cafe time, gas money, iTunes subscription if we have to), and I decided a necessary expense was LimeWire Pro. Cause it would be faster. Ha. I love Lost, but I'm not sitting in here for three hours. It's hot and I'm sweaty.

5) Easton Thomas is the greatest musician ever. Easton, if you're reading this: you're the greatest musician ever. Your music is freaking inspiring. I listen to it all the time. Just thought you should know that.

6) I'm gonna hike around Mt. Doom tomorrow. Yeah. Be jealous.

7) I'm hungry.

8) I don't really know why you're reading this anymore.

9) God is good and amazing and the Bible is the most incredible book ever written and if you haven't taken the time to really read it (I mean REALLY read it), then you're missing out. I highly recommend buying a copy of The Message. It really brings the Bible alive, and my favorite part is that it doesn't use verse numbers, so you don't feel like you're reading a book for study or anything, you just feel like you're reading a book. So cool.

That's it for now!

-jason <><

I Am In The Future

2007-01-31T16:40:00.001-08:00

Unless there's someone who reads this blog that lives in Pago Pago, I
live in a time zone after you. So I'm in the future. With flying cars
and spaceships and everything. It's pretty sweet.

Oh, and Capernwray's going pretty well too. I'm excited to be back,
even though I have to go through the whole meeting-new-people thing
again, which I'm never terribly good at. But I have met some cool
people, I've had some fun playing in the band without leading, and
just in general it looks to be a good semester.

I'll update you more as time goes on!

-jason <><

19 Hours!

2007-01-25T17:16:00.000-08:00

Until I leave for New Zealand yet again! Can't say how I feel about it this time...I'll really miss people here (and by "people" I mean Beth)(okay, yeah, I'll really miss my family and friends too), but I am excited to see what God has to teach me this time around. I'll update you as often as I can!

And semi-random but totally awesome: My YouTube page just got approved as a Director account! This may not mean much to you, but I'm just about flipping out about it myself. I'll hopefully have much more stuff to put up there by the end of the semester. That is assuming I have the time along with Plan B. Which is going very well again, just to let you know.

I'll be talking to you soon,
-jason <><

DanielCam

2007-01-23T19:13:00.000-08:00

And now, for your further enjoyment: DanielCam!

A collection of south island videos made by my very good friend, Daniel Rentschler. Hope you enjoy them.

Here's the first one, just for the heck of it:

South Island 2006 Remixed

2007-01-23T08:08:00.001-08:00

Well this is LONG overdue. My little video showing highlights of our trip around the south island last year. Enjoy!

Change your Password [A Friend]

2007-01-17T14:19:00.001-08:00

You need to sign out of your blog. Change the password so you are protected.

Venom Again

2007-01-17T10:05:00.001-08:00

A much better video, all posted and grafted into the blog for your convenience! Lucky you!

Geeking Out!!!

2007-01-12T18:23:00.000-08:00

VENOM VENOM VENOM

I'm not a big Spider-Man fan in general, but Venom is by far one of the greatest villains ever created. I am dying to see this movie.

-jason <><

Steve Jobs Tries To Take Over The World

2007-01-09T12:18:00.000-08:00

The way I see it, there's now a race between Microsoft and Apple to take over the world. Microsoft's long had the lead on computers (although Apple's very slowly catching up), and Apple's got the edge on mp3 players. Now Microsoft's been dabbling in pdas and smart phones for a while, and Apple's moving in on the kill.

Yes, Apple's making a phone. Take a wild guess as to what the name is.

The iPhone was just announced today, and I have to admit, it looks pretty freaking shiny. It's just one big touchscreen, and can be used as an iPod, a phone, a mobile internet device, a blender, pretty much everything. I'd actually heard rumors about this before, but neither 1) believed them, or 2) cared. I just wanted the new iPod to come out, I didn't think Apple would bother with something like a phone. Well surprise! They're the same thing.

First the good. Like I said, this phone is really, REALLY shiny. By that I mean it has just about the slickest, fanciest, easiest-to-use interface on anything I've ever seen, ever. You can scroll through and edit contacts quickly and easily, and even things like conference calls work incredibly well. Just check out the iPhone website, it really has to be seen to believed.

Not to mention the fact that with one huge screen like this, videos look incredible on it. I've been holding out for an iPod like this for a long time now, because I hate watching videos on the tiny screens they have now. That said, the iPod features on there look really cool, as well as the web browsing. It's all just very well put together.

Now for the bad (you knew it was coming):

First of all, I'm never a big fan of these all-in-one devices, because in my experience, they can do a lot of things, but most of them are pretty mediocre. Now from what I can tell, the interface and features here are pretty incredible, but I can't ignore the fact that the storage capacity is limited to either 4gb or 8gb. Yes, that's still pretty big, especially for a phone, but I was really holding out for a large-capacity widescreen iPod, so I could actually watch movies and shows without squinting a lot.

That's one reason why I'm really hoping they'll come out with something similar to the iPhone, but just as an iPod. I would buy that in a flash, in fact it's something I've been waiting for for a long time. I'd just hate to think that the iPhone is replacing the iPod video.

Not to mention the price tag. 500 dollars. And that's for the 4gb model. The 8gb bumps it up to $600. Absolutely nuts. I would never in my life spend that much for a phone, especially a Cingular one (who knows, maybe I'll switch someday, but I love Verizon).

Anyway, I'll ultimately have to ask my dad for his opinion on this, since he works with smart phones and knows a lot more about them than I do. The impression I got is that while the iPhone's interface is incredible, the features behind it are pretty standard. Beats me.

take it or leave it,
-jason <><

EDIT - Okay, I know I just sounded mostly critical of this thing, and I guess most of those points still stand, but now I'm watching the conference video, and I have to admit, this thing is really really REALLY freaking cool. I mean amazing. You really should go to the iPhone site, it's just...wow. I think I might just be ready to pay half a thousand for it anyway.

Christian Books, Christian Movies and Rotten Tomatoes

2007-01-05T10:29:00.000-08:00

Thr3e (by Ted Dekker) is one of my favorite books ever written. Supposedly the twist in it is easy to figure out for everyone but me, but that's really not why I liked it anyway. I liked it because it was a well-paced, character-driven thriller that was genuinely supenseful. In fact, it goes down in history as one of two books to actually startle me (which is really weird, but whatever, it happened). It was the way it was written, not necessarily what was actually written (although I thought that was pretty good too).

So when I found out they were making a movie of it, I was immediately worried. I became increasingly worried when I heard about the writer and director, who's track records include movies like Left Behind. But my real, true, deep worry came when I went to the official Thr3e movie website, and found this logo stamped onto it:

OH. NO.

I made a big old post about FoxFaith in the teddekker.com message board, but as usual I was a tad verbose and nobody's read it yet. But in short, I basically called this lovely new film studio a shameless attempt at jumping on the Passion of the Christ bandwagon, as opposed to an actual attempt to get good Christian movies in the market. It's the difference between calling yourself a "Christian" artist of some kind and using "Christian" as a label to sell more stuff. And that, I believe, is exactly what these guys are doing.

But apart from that, there is also the simple yet telling point on rottentomatoes.com: Thr3e is one of the very few movies to get the dubious honor of receiving a 0%. That means that almost every movie critic in the U.S. dislikes it. I'm not one to pay much attention to critics, but that's something worth noticing, at least.

It's enough to deter me from seeing it for now, at least. Unless someone wants to buy me a ticket or something...?

-jason <><

EDIT - Since writing this blog, Thr3e has moved up to 7%!! Oh freaking boy!!!

The Dead Sea Scrolls

2007-01-04T20:13:00.000-08:00

So I went to see some of the Dead Sea Scrolls today. Which I honestly wasn't too terribly excited about it, mostly because it sounded a lot like just any other history museum-type exhibit, which is about as fun for me as staring at a blank wall. It wasn't until we actually came to the entrance of the Pacific Science Center that I slowly started to realize what I was about to see. Then I saw the security guards standing outside waiting to check our bags and it suddenly hit me: These guys are guarding pieces of the Bible. At least as close to the original thing as one could possibly get. It was such a crazy weird thought.

We started with a movie and then went through the exhibit, which definitely was an awful lot of history museum-type stuff. I tried to keep in pace with my parents, but I finally just got too anxious and skipped right to the room where the scrolls were. And man, it was so incredibly cool. It's really hard to describe what it's like to be looking at this whole parchment of Psalm 119, the way it was meant to be written. Evenly spaced out stanzas of eight lines each, each stanza with a certain letter that starts out each line. The coolest thing was how they wrote the word "Yahweh", though. It was written in a completely different script, so that even us clueless Hebrew readers like us could pick it out from everything else.

They also had a bunch of other kinds of scrolls, like some Apocryphal texts, some historical stuff, and even a bunch of commentaries on different books (they had a commentary out for Hosea which was really cool). All in all, a fabulous experience.

Also...

Plan B Update

I've got a website up now for Plan B, which is where I'll be posting the story every week starting in July. Until then, I'll be posting little tidbits every now and again of what the story will be like, the characters in it, the creatures, etc. Be sure to check it out:

read-plan-b.blogspot.com

That's all for now!

-jason <><

New And Improved!

2007-01-03T13:41:00.000-08:00

Well I finally managed to get my hands on a sweet mailing list thing here, SO. If you're interested in getting my astonishing words of wisdom right to your email, just drop your address in that box on the right and you'll be set! Good old technology...

-jason <><

Life, The Universe, And Everything

2007-01-01T20:28:00.000-08:00

So it's been a while since I've made just a plain old, regular post about my ever-so-fascinating life, so here we go:

Home freaking Sweet Home: Yeah. I love being home. I was already excited to be here, but it wasn't until I actually got here that I realized how much I love everyone here. I love being with my family again, I love seeing Jon, Luke and Brian (my good friends of 15 years), all the people at church, I love having a car to drive around and blast music in, I love milk that's actually drinkable, I just love it love it here.

The U.S. vs. New Zealand: And you know what, I'm really not missing Capernwray as much as I thought I would. I'm missing some of my friends of course, Chris and Daniel in particular, and I know I'll have a great time when I get back, but man I love being home so much. Former Capernwray students I've talked to kept saying things like "I just couldn't wait to go back" and "Capernwray was more like home to me than my real home," etc. I guess I'm just weird, but that's not what it's been like for me at all.

Merry New Hakwanzaween: I definitely had some sweet holidays these past couple weeks. Christmas was pretty cool, I didn't get anything major, but I definitely got an awesome set of Pinky and the Brain dvds, and some money for a video game. And a bunch of other stuff too, of course. Then I spent New Years with my three most awesome friends, later joined by Beth and Cheryl. And I want the world to know, right now, that I actually beat Beth at a drawing game. I mean, I didn't beat her at the actual drawing part, but I'll take what I can get anyway.

Okami: The game I got with my Christmas money. AMAZING. The art style of the entire game is done like a Japanese brush painting, and it comes out looking incredible. You can even use a brush to paint things into the world like the sun, or wind, or a knife to cut things in half. I haven't had much time to play it yet, but once I get into it I know I'll love it.

Heroes: I've only seen one episode so far (the first one), but man it was SO GOOD. I'm definitely gonna see the rest, if I can manage to get my hands on them. It's my absolute favorite style of camera-work - grainy, less vibrant color-wise, and handheld. Basically everything they tell you not to do in Film 101. Gives it a more realistic feel, which translates to the writing and the rest of the show in general. Way awesome.

Plan B is coming along very nicely, thanks for asking. It's nice that I now have an actual deadline and format for getting this story done. It puts the pressure on me to get the overall plot hashed out and worked on for real. And you should know that this is a pet project of mine that I plan to put a lot of effort into, so I'm hoping you can expect something that's really worth your time. I'm personally VERY excited about it, at least. EDIT: AND THANKS TO BETH FOR DRAWING THE PICTURE OKAY HAPPY NOW? No seriously, Beth drew some freaking awesome concept art for me, including this one, so thanks a million for that. Be on the lookout for some more stuff too...

Da Mac Store: A big, whopping, total lack of awesome. Today was particularly stressful. It's so annoying being in an environment where I can't answer my own phone or check my email (much). I'm pretty much cut off from doing anything involving my actual life. So that stressed me out a lot today as I was trying to get a hold of a bunch of people, plus all the technology in our store was breaking, including the water cooler, and everybody died. Oh wait. That might have actually made things easier...

And last, but hopefully not least...

My Wonderful Savior and I haven't kept in touch very well over the last couple weeks. At first I sort of ignored it, like my relationship with God didn't need constant affirmation all the time, that I was stronger than that, but now I'm beginning to realize how much I miss prayer, and my Bible. I'll be getting back on that ASAP.

Plan B - New Project

2006-12-27T09:05:00.000-08:00

Okay, when I say "new" project that's kind of a misnomer, since Plan B is a story I've been working on for the past two years or so now. But all that work is going to come to fruition soon as I publish the story in blog form! I'm actually really excited about this project - it's going to be a serialized story, updated every week, along with some smaller updates during the week like concept art, history of the world, background info on certain creatures/technology, etc.

As you might have picked up, it's sort of a "sci-fi" story, although I'd personally be hesitant to use that phrase. It's more like a drama that happens to take place in another galaxy. Aaaaannnd...I shan't say anymore. I want to reveal as little of the plot as possible, although I'll be throwing out little teasers every now and again, since you'll have to wait a while before the project starts. Right now I'm aiming to post the first chapter in mid-July sometime. It's a long ways away, but hopefully it'll be worth it.

Until then, it'll just be some good old-fashioned blogging from moi. CAN! YOU! KEEP! UP! WITH! THIS!

-jason <><

Coming Soon...

2006-12-20T16:32:00.000-08:00

Trilogies are kind of the buzzword of the day. Lord of the Rings. X-Men. Spider-man. Pirates of the Caribbean. You can't seem to make just one thing nowadays. It has to be in packs of three.

So I now introduce to you the Born of Dust trilogy. One part MySpace, one part Youtube, and (of course) one part Blogger.

I've been feeling the need lately to get my creative juices flowing and spilling and generally making a mess of everything, and what better way to do so than by using the internet? The general idea is to post any random story ideas or brainstorming onto here, any videos/movies I make I'll dump on Youtube, and someday soon I hope to convert my regular MySpace into a musician's page so I can record some of my piano songs and put them up there. The webpages being...

Part 1 - bornofdust.blogspot.com
Part 2 - youtube.com/bornofdust
Part 3 - myspace.com/bornofdust

The mind of Jason will soon be unleashed...

[be scared]

-jason <><

Back In The Flow

2006-12-18T19:41:00.000-08:00

So I've been home a grand total of three days, and I'm now at work. Joy. Yes, I can think of a million things I'd rather be doing, but actually I'm pretty glad I decided to do this. I've had a problem in the past with saving money I've earned, and consequently I'm at a bit of a loss right now. Besides, even though the holidays are supposed to be relaxing, how relaxed are you really when you're not doing anything? It's like Jeremy Clarkson said: "You can never seem to find the time to do anything when you have nothing to do." (Or something like that.) I would much rather be bored and getting paid for it rather than being bored for free.

The major drawback, of course, is that I don't have the time to see all the people I want to see. So I might as well apologise in advance for anyone I end up turning down or postponing or anything like that. I really wish I could find time to hang out with everyone, preferrably several times, but it's just really hard. Of course, you're welcome to stop by the Mac Store whenever you want. I'll probably be there. :P

Otherwise, I'll be at Crossroads every Sunday and, at the very least, I'll be on AIM almost 24/7 (screen name: bornofdust27). So there you go.

-jason <><

P.s. Absolutely brilliant website: willitblend.com. A website entirely devoting to putting different things in a blender to see how it comes out. Amazing.

Just so you know...

2006-12-12T21:50:00.000-08:00

I'm home at 6:26pm on friday. :D

-jason <><

P.s. Yeah yeah, leave it to Kristy to look at the bigger moral picture and all that crud. Bah. We shall discuss this later... >_>

The new Bond...

2006-12-08T17:14:00.000-08:00

...is SO FREAKING GOOD!!!

One of my favorite movies of the year. Waaaaaaaay better than any of the other Bonds, in my opinion, maybe because 1) he actually has some depth of character to him, and 2) he's not such a womanizing jerk. To the main girl, at least. He's still a womanizing jerk to everyone else, but it's an improvement.

-jason <><

The Capernwray Bug

2006-12-04T21:49:00.000-08:00

Okay, for some reason I've been getting a lot of comments lately such as "Oh, I'd love to come to Capernwray, but that just won't work out..." or "Capernwray might be cool but I'm happy where I'm at" etc. So I have this message for all of you:

Capernwray is amazing. Capernwray is life-changing in ways you couldn't possibly understand until you've come here. And if God ever wanted you here, there is absolutely nothing in the entire world that could ever stop that from happening. Not money or school or anything.

I thought of coming to Capernwray because of all the people I knew who had told me so much about how much they loved it, so let me be that person for you. This has been possibly the greatest time of my entire life. I am a very different person now. You might not be able to tell from my sporadic blog entries, but just wait until you see me again. God has worked in my so strongly, it's been incredible.

In fact, I'll just name names here. I think you'd all love it here (or some Capernwray somewhere), but especially Chris, Emily and Kristy. Don't take this as a calling from God or anything, I'm just asking you to seriously consider it, and not shrug the idea off.

ttfn,
-jason <><

Merry Christmas!

2006-11-30T13:06:00.000-08:00

Well, over here at least. Sort of.

So a couple weeks ago, us guys all did something really cool and put together a nice dinner for the girls. We told the girls the day before so they had time to get ready, and they all got dressed up (and so did we)(quite the swanky bunch :P), came to our super nice dinner (I was live music)(two and a half hours, non-stop)(yay) we all had a dance, it was just really really fun. It's a Capernwray tradition, apparently.

But then the girls decided to break tradition, and did something for us too. :D So Wednesday morning, they had the fire alarm go off at 7 in the morning, and took us all up to the dining area where they'd decorated everything for Christmas and made us a really nice Christmas breakfast (complete with Christmas elves to bring our food, carollers, and one girl who dressed up as an old lady and said she was our grandma). We also had a story read to us, I believe it was called "Twas the Kiwi Night Before Christmas".

Then we went to the fireplace room where our principal read us the Christmas story from his big, fat, King James Version family Bible, and afterwards we got a visit from Santa!! Two of our staff members dressed up as Mr. and Mrs. Claus, and let me tell you, an Aussie Santa is the best kind of Santa there is. "Merry Christmas to all, and good on ya mate!"

Then we got presents. Wow. Heaps of presents. First we each got a framed copy of our school group picture. Then we had a white elephant gift exchange, where I almost landed a sweet book of Dickens Christmas stories...but then of course it got stolen from me and instead I ended up with some Canadian flag stickers and a purple balloon. Meh. But anwyay, then we each got our own stocking filled with cookies, and our best present was sitting on our beds back in our dorms - a jar full of pieces of paper with encouragements on them. I have to admit I totally loved that bit. My favorite note: "Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are YOU!" I have no idea who wrote it, but I'm gonna found out. I thought it was hilarious.

All in all, it was a very good morning. So merry Christmas! And I'll see you all soon!

-jason <><

P.S. I'm coming back as a student, by the way. Just so you know. Thanks for the prayers!

Shot to Sunshine

2006-11-21T20:29:00.000-08:00

I don't know if I ever mentioned this, but an integral part of my plan to come back here to work was that my friend and I were going to find a flat together in Matamata - he was signing up for an internship at a local church, and I was gonna work. Just a wonderful plan. I mean, it was gonna be a bit of a struggle for me to find a job and the money and everything, but his internship was pretty set in stone, so at least that part was settled.

Until this morning. When after a month of leading Daniel on and saying nothing but "it's looking good", they dropped the bomb on him that they didn't want an intern after all.

And you have to understand: getting a flat with this guy was one of my main reasons for wanting to come back here to work. And even if I ended up going back to Capernwray I'd get to see him a lot, we'd go climbing every week, it was all set up to be a sweet time.

Yeah. Until this morning.

So now I'm totally lost. I'm confused. I'm angry. I have no idea what I'm doing with my life for next year.

I could really really use some prayer.

-jason <><

HUGE Prayer Request

2006-11-17T17:22:00.000-08:00

Okay guys, I need some serious prayer here.

From what I can see, the only way I could possibly come back here to work is through God's hand. I need to decide by the beginning of December whether or not I'm going to study at Capernwray for another semester or if I'm going to come back and work, and I think I might have already mentioned the three things I need in order to work here:

1) About US$3000 available in order to get my work holiday visa and to sustain myself while I'm starting out here.

2) A job. Duh. Or at least a clear idea of how I'm gonna find a job.

3) A place to stay. Or, again, a clear idea of where I'll find one.

The money is an especially big one for me right now, and that's the one that I'm most worried about, I have to admit. By the way, I should note that I need $3000 *more* than I actually have right now, not total. I have just about enough right now to buy a plane ticket, and that's really it. And the thing is, I have really felt strongly that coming here to work is what God has wanted me to do, but now I'm in a place where I have no choice but to sit back and wait for Him to take me there, which scares me. I would need that money more or less dropped in my lap, and frankly, I don't believe that He'll do it. I've been fasting (from desserts and snacks and stuff) and praying almost constantly about this, and I still don't believe He'll do it. Mainly because He's never done anything like that before for me. And yet if He doesn't do it, I will be so incredibly annoyed. Seriously. Not because He'd be leading me somewhere where I don't want to go - I would absolutely love to spend another semester at Capernwray. But that's such an easy route for me. My parents will pay for it, I don't have to think about the decision much, I don't need a miraculous amount of money, etc. And it would match the pattern for my ENTIRE LIFE. I want to go in the direction where I'm not in control, where I have no choice but to trust completely in God, where He's the one who provides for me. And I guess I just don't have faith that He'll do it.

So I need prayer to change my attitude, to be ready for whatever God has for me, all that stuff - but if you could really pray that God provides for me, that would mean more to me than you could even know. I'm not testing God, it's not one of those things like "God if you don't give this to me then I won't believe in You anymore", nothing like that...I just...I believe in Him, I really very much do, I just want to see Him work. I want to be entirely in His grip. It's what I want more than anything in the world.

-jason <><

Oh yeah...

2006-11-09T17:13:00.000-08:00

Chris' comment reminded me, I should clarify - my current idea is to come
back here, work full-time for a while, then go back to university in the
Fall (your Fall). Current plans are not to move to New Zealand
permanently. Just so you know.

-jason <><

The Future

2006-11-06T00:37:00.000-08:00

Yeah. The future. Such a weirdly intangible thing. It seems like the
moment I think I know what I'm doing next, some completely random curve
gets thrown at me.

Like recently. Within the last couple days, I've all but decided that I
won't be coming back to Capernwray after Christmas. It was such a random
idea that came into my head, but it was so strong and sudden that I'm
almost positive it was God. I don't know for sure yet, so I'm going to
start heading down that path and see where it takes me. It's absolute
nothing against Capernwray, it's been an amazing experience, and if it
were up to me I would probably stay. *If* it were up to me...

I should specify that the thought that came into my head so strongly and
suddenly was actually that instead of coming to Capernwray for another
semester, I should come back to New Zealand and work full-time for a
while. I'm still working that one out, but after talking with my friends
here and with my dad, I'm almost completely sold on the idea that I'm not
supposed to come back to Capernwray.

And I really would like to spend some time working full-time, for various
reasons. I think the best way I ever put it was that I want to spend some
time in my life "just living". I've been studying for 15 years, and I
really want to be able to step back, earn a living, learn some
responsibility, live by my own means, etc. And I'd love to do it here just
because I love this country, I'd already been planning on coming back, and
my friend Daniel and I want to maybe get a flat together or something.

But all my planning and everything aside, I really just want to do God's
will, and I'm very serious about that. It's really kind of a peaceful
place to be right now - somehow because my future is turning out
differently than I'd planned, I know that I'm in His plan instead. It's
kind of exciting, because I know that God's next step for me is part of
this huge scheme that He's planned for me since before the creation of the
world, and all I have to do is follow Him closely to experience the plan
firsthand.

Prayers are very greatly appreciated at this point. Just pray that I'll be
able to distinguish God's voice from all the others running around my
head, and follow willingly as soon I hear Him.

I'll keep you posted,
-jason <><

And fatigue descended upon the dwelling place...

2006-10-31T20:15:00.000-08:00

I would say that I'm tired, but that'd be terribly redundant, since I hear
that from pretty much everyone around here all the time. But whatever. I'm
tired.

We just finished a thing this last weekend called Breakthrough, where we
basically turned the campus into a huge pirate world thing, dressed up in
crazy costumes, and had a bunch of youth groups and other kids show up and
play a huge game/adventure. It was pretty freaking sweet. Well...mostly.
We did two nights, one for kids 10-13, the other for kids 14-18, and the
older group was definitely way more fun. The first group was wild and
unresponsive and just generally annoying, plus my job was weird. I was
supposed to hide in this cave that they walk through and sing some kind of
creepy song. Well I wrote a song just for the occasion, and sang as best
as I could, but it was just really awkward. No one knew what I was doing,
and I ended being like one of those British guards that everyone tries to
distract and annoy. It was way weird.

But I opted to switch jobs on the second day and had way more fun. The
thing was, I was supposed to be monitoring this water slide, but when I
was singing I wasn't really available to do that. So the second day I
dressed all in black (including my face), sat at the top of the slide and
acted like a crazy person. It was waaaaaaaay fun. I spent the whole time
hunched over and mumbling/humming to myself, and this time when people
tried to annoy/distract me it was actually more fun than otherwise.

Me: *mumbling and humming randomly*
Person (Trying to be cheery and crack a joke): "Hey man, you alright?"
Me (suddenly staring at them): "*mumble mumble* heh heh are you alright?
is the question *mumble mumble*..."
Person: "............yeah okay." *scurries past as fast as he can*

In other news, my hand is better, which actually didn't take too long. I
also "discovered" a cd I had in my collection that I'd never really given
a chance: Room Noises by Eisley. I bought it a while ago, listened to the
first 30 seconds of two songs, and decided it was crap. Then a couple days
ago I finally decided to give it a real chance, and I totally love it. I
have no idea how to describe their sound - the lead singer sounds a lot
like Leigh Nash, but the music itself is like...something else. Good.
That's all I know.

Oh, and Emily, a real live Japanese person told me that it's spelled kon
niti ha, so that's the info I'm going off of. Unless the typing part just
came out wrong. Which is possible.

OH OH OH! Good movie that needs to be watched: I Heart Huckabees. For
sure. FANTASTIC movie. Also Kung Fu Hustle. But I Heart Huckabees first.
And Ong-Bak: Muay Thai Warrior, but I saw that a while ago. I just thought
of that because I rented it for this weekend, and we're gonna have a big
man party and watch it (girls can come too, I guess, although I don't know
why they'd want to...).

later,
-jason <><

Jason's Big Day

2006-10-25T04:35:00.000-07:00

What a really freaking weird day.

1) I drove for the first time in New Zealand. Not on a road, just around
the grass, but still. Milestone.

2) I drove a stick shift for the first time in ever. It was weird because
I didn't really get any instructions, I just sort of went for it. And
except for that one period of time where I kept stalling it over and over
and over again trying to start it, it was pretty easy.

3) I got cow poop on every single part of my body. Including my hair. Lovely.

4) I crawled through a sewer. Well, sort of. We're turning the school into
a pirate island thing for a youth event, and my building team had to make
a big long "sewer" out of these huge tires and tarp, and we had races
through it. It was pretty cool.

5) I got really really REALLY freaking muddy. This is still part of the
sewer story. Seems that the person who went before me knocked a bunch of
the water sitting in one of the tires onto the ground, making a nice big
mud puddle for me.

6) I sprained my hand. Still part of the sewer story. Highlight for sure.
And I can't play guitar or drums or piano. GAH!!

I think those are the main weird things. Have fun with your boring,
regular old days. :P

-jason <><

P.S. I'm also learning to type in Japanese. A little. I can type things like
こんいちは or わ〜い！ or ★ or whatever. If you can even read that.

The Chronicles of the Rich Angry Farmers

2006-10-11T20:01:00.000-07:00

PRESENTING...probably the longest post I've ever written. Don't stress,
read it over a few days if you have to. Take a break. Get some coffee. You
can do it!

---------------------

Mission: cover the entire south island of New Zealand in two weeks.
Team Members:
- Jason "The Guy With All The Ginormous Luggage" Ericson
- Chris "Home Is Where The Guitar Is" Lewis
- Joanne "Meh" Lewis
- William "I Am Now" Redenbaugh
- Daniel "Well-Balanced" Rentschler
- Luise "The Only One Who Ever Really Seemed To Know What Was Going On" Dick
- David "I Think I've Been Here Before" Krock

*THURSDAY, SEPT. 21*
[Cambridge -> Wellington]

Four of us crammed into a tiny little car full of luggage and made our
marathon trip down to Wellington. The other three took the night bus. The
four of us slept in a nice apartment with warm, fluffy beds and a very
nice shower. The other three slept...well, not really.

*FRIDAY, SEPT. 22*
[Wellington -> Picton -> Nelson -> Takaka]

Early start for the seven of us as we were dropped off at the ferry and
sent on our three hour trip. (Per advice from our hosts we went without
breakfast, since breakfast would've probably left us partway through the
trip anyway.) Unloading ourselves at Picton, we went and picked up our
home for the next two weeks: The Van. (I tried to name the van Eddie, but
it didn't really stick.) After a fair amount of arguing, which would
quickly become a staple of the trip, we stopped through Nelson and went
north towards the Farewell Spit, so we could have a chance to check it out
the next day. We parked our car by Pupu Springs and I had probably one of
the worst sleeps of my entire life.

Let me just lay out the van configuration for you: we aren't talking about
a nice, big camper van like we were planning on getting. We're talking a
mini-van. A mini-van with a little pop-up tent on the roof that can fit
two people. So of course, us guys being the gentlemanly type, we offered
to let the two girls sleep up top while we contorted ourselves into the
seats below. This was not a pleasant experiment. It took us a couple of
nights before we got into a groove that worked at least somewhat, but that
first night was definitely not so groovy. Apparently, in my sleep I
finally found a comfortable position which involved me laying directly on
top of the guy next to me, but honestly that was not so much of a problem
as the nasal symphony coming from the guy on my other side. We worked it
out eventually. Somehow.

*SATURDAY, SEPT. 23*
[Takaka -> Wharariki Beach -> Takaka -> Westport]

This was the day where we went exploring at Wharariki Beach, whose crazy
landscape I made an attempt at describing last time. And from there it was
a huge trip down to Westport with very little breaks (weren't many places
to take breaks anyway). We also got to try out our tiny little gas cooker,
out under the shelter of some park somewhere. A cop drove by and slowed
down an uncomfortable amount before moving on, not that we were really
doing anything wrong. But I can imagine that a bunch of teenagers in the
middle of a park huddled around a small gas fire could be kind of
suspicious...

Yet another van night. This time on the side of the road somewhere,
ingeniously parked on a slope so that in the morning we were all pretty
much in a pile on the right side of the van.

*SUNDAY, SEPT. 24*
[Westport -> Greymouth]

Church in the morning, café in the afternoon, and a backpacker's hostel in
the evening. We all sat down for a real dinner (spaghetti), and I went to
bed at the late late hour of about 7pm (due to my sudden sickness). Still
a great hostel though, and any bed beats the van. Okay, a living room
floor beats the van. Maybe even a bathroom. Not that I'm bitter or
anything.

*MONDAY, SEPT. 25*
[Greymouth -> Franz Joseph Glacier -> Fox Glacier]

We spent the morning in the, *ahem*, lovely city of Greymouth (in the
immortal words of Daniel Rentschler, "this is uglier than London"), then
made our way to the Franz Joseph glacier, which was pretty much...dumb.
Okay, the glacier itself might have been alright, but I was a little
distracted by the sudden downpour that drenched my 100% cotton clothes so
that I was not only sick, I was sick and wet and cold AND miserable. So we
moved on to Fox Glacier where three of us got a hostel (I really needed
another good rest), and we went out to a nice restaurant for Chris'
birthday. Not a bad ending to the day, at least.

*TUESDAY, SEPT. 26*
[Fox Glacier -> Haast -> Wanaka]

We had a nice sunny morning this time around to visit the Fox glacier,
which was a much more pleasant experience. After that it was time for more
road-tripping as we booked it down to Wanaka to stay the night. We
considering stopping in Haast, but just about missed it when we blinked,
so we opted to keep going. Haast actually became sort of a joke as the
trip went on: "Highlight of the trip? Oh yeah, definitely Haast, I'm
recommending it to everyone..." Especially compared to Wanaka, which was
an amazing and beautiful little city, pretty much my ideal place to live
if it weren't so crazy expensive. The only real difficulty there was
finding a place to park for the night, since pretty much everywhere we
went were middle-class neighbourhoods which probably wouldn't have liked a
bunch of bums like us hanging out for the night. But oh well, we decided
to park on private property without permission anyway. Not on purpose,
mind you. It was an empty lot, we didn't think anybody owned it, at least
not until the middle of the night when it suddenly dawned on us that it
was the beginning of a construction site. Oh, and it had a mailbox. We're
brilliant.

So we spent part of the night more than a little paranoid that we were
going to get caught, Daniel in particular. Now Daniel is German, and has a
rather, um, "unique" grasp of the English language (if you're reading
this, Daniel, I'm kidding. If not, well...), and for reasons still
unclear, he decided that the guy who owned this piece of property must be
a farmer. A rich farmer no less, since everybody in Wanaka seems to be
rich. So we stayed the night in Wanaka in perpetual fear of the "rich
angry farmer" that was gonna come knocking on our window at any moment.
This phrase soon became legend on our trip, and before we knew it there
were rich angry farmers all over the place. Especially when we parked
somewhere for the night, we were always on guard against the rich angry
farmers with their shotguns and so forth. I think I was labelled as a rich
angry farmer on more than one occasion myself. Not that I own any
shotguns...

*WEDNESDAY, SEPT. 27*
[Wanaka -> Queenstown]

Early early start this morning to avoid the wrath of the rich angry
farmer, quick breakfast, then onto Queenstown. We have a number of
arguments as usual, and eventually decide to search out a hostel somewhere
to sleep, since pretty much all of us are sick at this point and we need
some rest. The rest of the day is spent bumming around Queenstown. Boring
day, but good.

*THURSDAY, SEPT. 28*
[Queenstown -> Te Anau -> Hollyford]

After another extensive amount of arguing we eventually decide to make our
trek towards Milford Sound this morning, since that destination's been
recommended to all of us at some point or another. Finally, we agree on
something! Except for the fact that by the time we're slated to arrive at
Milford Sound everything will be closed. So. Decision failed. So instead
we attempt to get as close to Milford Sound as we can and spend the night
wherever we end up - and this decision leads us to the glorious Hollyford
Camp. You wanna know how cool this camp was? I will tell you, if you can
even handle it: we had a coal stove in our room. That was our primary
source of heat, for the room and for our food. The camp generator powered
our lights and shut off at 10pm, the "fridge" was a rack sitting outside
with mountain water pouring on it, and there was a clothesline hanging on
the side of the main building with a bunch of burnt toast pinned to it.
Possibly the highlight of the entire trip for me.

*FRIDAY, SEPT. 29*
[Hollyford -> Milford Sound -> Te Anau -> Queenstown]

And now...*drum roll*...MILFORD SOUND!! And...wasn't that special.
Unfortunately. I think we went on a "bad" day - it seemed like a good day
since it was sunny and warm, which is a very rare occurrence over there.
The flip-side, though, is that the waterfalls were really dry and not
quite as spectacular as they've been reported to be. And there were more
sand flies. Curse those sand flies. Curse them to Hades.

So that was a mild disappointment, but life's only as disappointing as you
make it (in my opinion), so it wasn't a huge deal. (My wallet might
disagree, but you know...) The rest of the day was pretty much spent in
the car back to Queenstown, where we stumbled upon an awesome Christian
camp with a grand piano ( \m/ >_< \m/ ) and a nice guy who cut our cabin
price in half. Thank you, nice guy!

*SATURDAY, SEPT. 30*
[Queenstown -> Dunedin]

If the day at Hollyford Camp wasn't my favorite, then this day definitely
was. We labelled it our "rest day", and it was something I desperately
needed at this point. I basically went off by myself for the first time in
over a week, and just wandered around and did what I felt like. I spent
some good quality time in the internet place (partially so I could
download the new Lost episode, except it hadn't actually aired yet...),
then got to sit in a nice quiet café where I had probably the best hot
chocolate in the entire world and I got my first chance in a while to work
on my script (which I hope to film this next term). Although I think I
might have stayed past closing, I'm not sure...New Zealanders have a
tendency to do things like leave stores open late for you and stuff. (A
couple students were actually at a café once where the owner just gave
them the key at closing time and told them to lock up whenever they were
done.)

At the end of the day we meandered on over to Dunedin where we
stayed...um...where did we stay? Uhhhhhhhh oh yeah! We stayed on the side
of the main road somewhere! In retrospect that was probably one of the
dumbest places we ever parked (second only to the rich angry farmer's
place), but we were tired and weren't really thinking straight. And it was
a ways away from the road...in plain sight...yeah, stupid.

*SUNDAY, OCT. 1*
[Dunedin -> Otago Peninsula]

We went to church again, this time to what was apparently the second ever
church built in Dunedin. They had a pipe organ. Which was probably the
best part of the service. The rest was kind of, um...yeah.

We spent the rest of the day just sort of wandering around and getting a
feel for the town. I went with two other guys and we circled the main
street a few times and, um, that's about it. Honestly, Dunedin wasn't all
that interesting to me (and everything there was crazy expensive). OH, but
we did go to the arcade, which is the first time I've done that in
forever. We played some solid rounds of Metal Slug before I tried my hand
at this DDR-ish drumming game, which I felt I was doing pretty sweet at
until the inevitable Japanese guy who'd obviously played this game every
day since he was born came up and showed me up by a truly fantastic
amount. I don't even know why he was playing, he could already play every
song on the hardest mode with total perfection. Humph. Show off...

At the end of the day we drove a really short way out, about 30 minutes,
to the Otago Peninsula. I think some people wanted to see some albatross
or something. Whatever. The really exciting thing about staying the night
here was that we actually got permission to park where we did! Which is
good, because I think that was private property too. But we talked to the
farmer (not the rich angry type), and he basically just told us not to
leave any of our crap behind. Sweet as.

*MONDAY, OCT. 2*
[Otago Peninsula -> Dunedin -> Some dirt town sort of near Geraldine]

The weird people go to see the albatross, while the smart people (being
Daniel and I) stay in the car shielded from the evil wind and cold and
badness. And apparently it would've cost money to see some birds, so
nobody really went anyway. We trudged back into Dunedin feeling rather
useless.

Another rather uneventful day in Dunedin where we go wandering, eventually
into some museum. This particular museum really brought out the child in
me - I thought museums were boring when I was child, and I still do. We
also made an attempt at touring the Cadbury's Chocolate Factory, but all
the tours were booked by the time we got there, and it cost six bucks just
to go into the gift shop, so we just left it at that.

The rest of the day we spent driving north towards Geraldine as far as we
felt like going. We ended up at a sweet café in the middle of nowhere with
some crazy good food (that's always how it is here, the most obscure cafés
and restaurants are usually the best), and the owner there pointed us to a
place we could go without being bothered for the night. Good night's sleep
had by all.

*TUESDAY, OCT. 3*
[Dirt town -> Geraldine]

Short drive to Geraldine, where we end up at a place called The Crossing,
a bed and breakfast soon to become the second New Zealand Capernwray
campus. We get to stay for free in exchange for sleeping on the floor
(like I said, anything beats that blasted van), and we pay for meals. This
was a very nice relaxed day of doing pretty much nothing, ending with a
good movie (Planes, Trains and Automobiles) and a good sleep. Oh, and a
huge weight was lifted off our chest that day: I found a website that
explained Primer (that movie I mentioned in my last blog). Wow, we really
needed that at this point...

*WEDNESDAY, OCT. 4*
[Geraldine -> Christchurch -> Governor's Bay]

Onto our last major stop on the south island: Christchurch! We take off in
the afternoon and land in the evening, giving us a brief chance to
explore. We walk around the beautiful gardens for a bit, wander around the
square, then make our way towards a sleeping point. Now, actually parking
and sleeping in Christchurch itself was totally out of the question (way
too major a city), so we searched out the closest small town we could find
on the map and went that way. We ended up in Governor's Bay, although we
had a bit o' trouble actually finding a spot, so we ended up asking a
local for suggestions. And in good Kiwi form, she not only pointed us to a
spot, she actually gave us her phone number and address in case the
weather got too bad and we wanted a living room to crash for the night.
Daniel, as usual, asked what everybody else was thinking later: "Um, why
didn't we just take that instead?" But whatever, it's the thought that
counts.

*THURSDAY, OCT. 5*
[Governor's Bay -> Christchurch -> Seddon]

Early start back out to Christchurch, where we spent pretty much the
entire day. Christchurch was a pretty cool city - we went to an army
surplus store, got kicked out of a music store, went to a nice mall for
some surprisingly good food, got kicked out of a jewellery store, walked
around, got kicked out of the city (okay not really, I was just trying to
keep the pattern going...), saw some kiwis, etc. And like I said, it was a
nice city, but having only day to check it out was probably not enough. It
was windy and cold and we were tired and honestly we were ready to move
on. It's the kind of place that I would love to return to someday and
check out for a longer time, but for that day it just wasn't all that
interesting. Ah well.

We needed to return The Van by noon on Friday, so we decided to drive as
close to Picton as we could stand for the day. What proceeded was about a
five-and-a-half hour drive that ended up in the little town of Seddon, and
a heated argument at about 11 at night over where we should park (we're
still not entirely sure if we parked on private property or not, but
nobody bothered us at least). No time for dinner (which made me very sad
indeed), as we had to be up early for...

*FRIDAY, OCT. 6*
[Seddon -> Picton]

It was time. Time to say goodbye to our very dear friend The Van. Time to
say goodbye to the cramped nights, the even more cramped days, the smell,
the broken seatbelt, the cold pop-up top, the...yeah okay we didn't really
miss it that much. Still, it was a little sentimental. Kinda.

And now we had a dilemma. Whoever it was that bought the ferry tickets
back to Wellington decided that cheapest obviously meant best, and so they
bought the cheapest tickets they possibly could: the Saturday 5AM ferry.
What they didn't exactly think through was what the heck we were going to
do for half a night in Picton without The Van. We weren't allowed to stay
in the ferry terminal, and we didn't want to pay for a hostel if we were
only staying half the night, and besides, most of us didn't really want to
sleep anyway, because we knew we'd be a miserable wreck if we woke up only
halfway through the night. So we decided to ask around local hostels and
see if we could pay, like, half-price just to hang out in their lounge
until we left for our ferry. We weren't very hopeful, but lo and behold, a
hostel actually accepted the offer! We were saved!

.....

.....except when it got to around 10 at night and they suddenly said "Oh
wait, we thought you meant 5PM today! No no, if you're staying until 5
tomorrow then you have to pay full price." Not like we had a choice at
this point. Meh.

It wasn't a bad night though. We watched Memento, which is a friggin sweet
movie if you ever get the chance, and lots of Firefly. I have to say I'm
very happy to get more people addicted to that show. And since we didn't
actually sleep, I'm not exactly sure when the next day's entry would
start, so I'll just go ahead with...

*SATURDAY, OCT. 7*
[Picton -> Wellington]

At about 4:30 we get up (ha ha) and head off to the ferry terminal. At
this point I haven't eaten anything in 5 hours because I wasn't really
sure when I should stop eating in order to have an empty stomach for the
ride. Some of the others decide to risk it and eat anyway, so I just
watched them. I was really quite miserable. But not nearly as miserable as
I was when I got on the ferry. I slept most of the time so I didn't really
remember most of it, except that I would wake up every once in a while and
think, "You know, if I had wanted a roller coaster I would've paid for
it." As miserable as I was, I was very glad to not have any potential ammo
in my stomach.

In Wellington we got picked up by the Pickerings once again, and got to
crash at their apartment for the weekend. They were incredibly nice and
fed us and basically gave us the run of their flat. Not much more to say
from this particular day, we just hung out and watched tv and enjoyed
life. Which is also more or less what we did on...

*SUNDAY, OCT. 8*
[Wellington]

While everybody else went to church, I ended up being the unspiritual one
and stayed in bed. Oh well. I didn't really sleep in, but I did take a
much needed shower (like a really real shower), put on some clean clothes
(which I was very surprised to find actually existed in my bag) and went
to a café for a real breakfast and some devotions. I'm now all the way
through Genesis and Exodus! Only 64 books to go! Wooo, this should be
interesting...

The rest of the day was relaxing and boring and absolutely nothing
eventful happened whatsoever. Not at all. Especially not me getting lost
in Wellington for over an hour. Really. It didn't happen. So don't ask me
about it.

One more fantastic night's sleep (you might notice that this the only
entry with only one location...), so I can be ready for...

*MONDAY, OCT. 9*
[Wellington -> Cambridge]

This is it. The last day. One more really freaking long drive that makes
me never ever want to ride in a car ever again for the rest of my life,
and it's home again. We started the morning without any hitches - unless
you count that motorcyclist running into our car and knocking the bumper
off, or our massive amounts of luggage that we had to fit into what was
very not The Van anymore, or just the general mayhem and panic that comes
with the last day of a trip. Then we proceeded on our multi-hour trip (I
didn't even bother keeping track), and...

...I think I soon realised why they send us on this two-week break in the
first place. Because despite whatever homesickness I've felt here at
school, when we drove up to the Monavale Homestead sign at the front of
our driveway, it felt more like home than ever before. I was dying to see
my friends again (the ones that weren't on the trip with me, of course),
although I was so tired I couldn't get much more out than "Hey So-and-So,
how...how was...zzzzz....", but I was more grateful to see these people
than they probably know.

In short: mission accomplished.

Just don't ask me to go travelling ever again... :P

Country Roads

2006-09-27T19:59:00.000-07:00

Location: Somewhere between Fox Glacier and Haast, NZ, along the west coast
Destination: The entire south island
Now Playin: "Work" by Jars of Clay (SO. FREAKING. GOOD.)
Mood: Content

-----------

Well, wouldn't YOU be content if you were in my position? :P

So I'm now starting out my fifth day on the south island of New Zealand, and life is pretty good. To be honest, though, it hasn't exactly been the perfect vacation. For one thing, I became sick very suddenly a couple days ago. And by "suddenly", I mean that I went from healthy-and-energetic to unable-to-stand in about five minutes. I'm doing a lot better this morning, but we'll see as the day progresses. It's also proven even more difficult than I imagined to be travelling in a group of seven people. Besides being crammed together in one van for most of the time (often overnight, too), there's also the usual disagreements and arguments and all that good stuff. It makes it very hard to plan an itinerary for one trip when there are seven very different things that the group wants to do. Not to mention the fact that you get very little privacy in this situation. I'll admit that there have been moments where I've just wanted this thing to be over and that we'd be back at Capernwray.

And yet here we are, driving down along the west coast, serrching for a place to have breakfast (not quite as soon as I would like, but whatever), the sun is shining, the landscape is beautiful, I'm listening to one of the best cds ever made (Good Monsters, of course), and life is just very sweet.

If you log onto a website like wises.co.nz you might be able to track our progress. We started in Cambridge on the north island (where Capernwray is), and our first day was a marathon drive down to Wellington, where a very nice family of one of the students at the school let us stay in their apartment. The next day was a ferry ride to Picton on the south island (where I finally saw Pirates 2! Complete with realistic boat movements and sound!), and that day was spent driving around to Nelson and up to Cape Farewell, where we spent the first night (right next to Pupu Springs - best name ever). The next day we went up a ways to the Farewell Spit, specificall to Wharariki Beach (pronounced FA-ra-REE-kee), which my friend and I decided was the best example of NZ landscape we've seen so far. We had to walk through green farmland to get there, with rolling hills and huge mountains in the background, then through a little bit of forest land before reaching the sandy beach. It's such a schizophrenic country sometimes. I love it. :P

The same day we took another marathon drive down to Westport, which may not seem far away on the map, and I guess it technically isn't...except that you can only drive about 40 kph (25 mph) the whole time because it winds back and forth so much. After staying the night in Westport we went to a Salvation Army church, which was very encouraging for all of us, and from there we took a trip down to Greymouth and spent the first night NOT crammed into our van on the side of the road somewhere. It was a really nice backpacker's hostel for only 21 NZD for the night, and would have been an especially awesome night had I not taken that time to get sick. Bleh.

The next day was pretty uneventful as we made our way through the pouring rain down to Franz Joseph glacier, where I stayed sick AND got soaking wet and cold. I and a few others opted to stay in another backpacker's down in Fox Glacier since I was still pretty sick, although we ended the night well at a nice restaurant to celebrate one of the traveller's birthday. Oh, and we watched an absolutely mind-blowing movie called Primer, which I highly recommend to anyone who wishes to be completely confused. I totally loved it and plan to watch it many more times, but I didn't understand half of it. Great stuff.

That's when we started down to Haast and where I started writing this blog, although by now we've passed through Haast, stayed the night in a beautiful little town called Wanaka, and I am now in the local internet cafe her trying desperately to finish this blog before a) my batteries run out, or b) I run out of internet time, either of which could happen any second. I'll have to update you later about our time in Wanaka, it's worthy of an entry all by itself. Stay tuned! I'm gonna go listen to the last two tracks of Good Monsters, which I finally was able to download! Happy joy!

later,
-jason <><

P.S. So how's this for an unfortunate situation: I go to the internet cafe, without a power cord because I'm dumb and think I have enough battery left, finish writing my blog, then go to publish it, except that by the time I'm finished, the time for my wireless access has run out. So I close up my laptop and run to the nearest computer station to try and transcribe my entire blog from my laptop to the computer so I can finally publish it, but my batter is so low that I can't even turn it on. So it is now two days later and I'm finally able to publish it! Happy joy again!!

Three More Things

2006-09-20T18:03:00.000-07:00

Three awesome things:

1) THE NEW JARS OF CLAY CD

Oh........man. I can't even describe it. Freaking amazing. Their best album so far, in my opinion, and that's saying a whole lot. Just buy it. Seriously. Oh man oh man.

2) THE NEW ITUNES

Automatically downloads album art AND plays songs without gaps inbetween. I almost cried with happiness when I discovered that last part.

3) TWO WEEK BREAK

Which I'm leaving for in about an hour. I might update throughout the time. Talk to you later!

-jason <><

Three Things

2006-09-17T20:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I'm not sure I'll ever do a complete write-up of last week's trip, but I'll at least do some kind of update. So I've whittled it down to the top 5 highlights:

1: I bought a copy of The Message, which is an absolutely fantastic translation, if you've never given it a shot. At first I was totally opposed to it because it wasn't a word-for-word translation, but now I love it. It's so easy to read that I've been reading it straight through just like I would any other book, and I've found myself reading my Bible for hours a day without even thinking about it. Instead of "updating" it like some translations, it really tries to bring it back to how it was, making it as easy to read now as it was back when it was written. I found a great example in Matthew 3:9, when Jesus is talking to the Pharisees. New King James Version: "And do not think to say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father.’ For I say to you that God is able to raise up children to Abraham from these stones." That is pretty much a word-for-word translation. Then The Message: "And don’t think you can pull rank by claiming Abraham as father. Being a descendant of Abraham is neither here nor there. Descendants of Abraham are a dime a dozen." The Jews who read that passage back when it was written would have understood exactly what he was talking about with "the children of Abraham", but for us we require a little bit more explanation. Oh, and there are no verse numbers in this translation, so it reads just like a book. Anyway, buy a copy, it's seriously worth it.

2: The Bible Code. Ever heard of it? A secret code buried inside the original Hebrew Bible that reveals details about important events that have happened since its writing. I'd heard of it, but I started reading about how the code actually works, and now I'm really excited. It's a very simple code, but nearly impossible to write in the way that it appears to have been written. And there's all kinds of information hidden in there - it wouldn't help you predict future events, but you can look up almost any major past events and find them in there, along with details about them like the dates they occured, who was involved, etc. Someday I plan to take some Hebrew lessons and then try and crack the code myself, just to see if it really works. Like I said, it's simple enough, but also virtually impossible to crack without a computer. That'll be my task. In the meantime, look it up yourself.

3: I preached my first sermon ever yesterday. And I can confidently say that it was almost entirely God speaking through me. I had literally almost nothing prepared before I got up to speak, no notes, no structure, no conclusion, no nothing. And I got up and preached a really amazing sermon. I would never say that if it was something I prepared, but it wasn't, it was just the Spirit leading me, and it was a really cool experience. I probably learned more from my sermon than anybody else did. So yeah, that was cool.

So yeah, there were other things throughout the week, like Howard Willard, the crazy faith healer guy who was so entirely wrong in his theology that it was kinda overwhelming (but also kinda funny), my awesome two birthdays (the 16th over here and the 16th at home), the really cool youth event that we all participated in, just lots of cool stuff. But now I'm totally worn out by e-mailing and everything, so I will go...to bed. Or something.

later,
-jason <><

I'm baaaaaaack!

2006-09-17T02:36:00.000-07:00

And...

...

...I'm tired. :P Update tomorrow. Maybe.

-jason <><

Silence

2006-09-08T19:57:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm gonna be gone for a week. I mean, I've been "gone" for a good couple months now, but you know, gone from Capernwray. We're gonna go spend a week doing ministry work in Matamata (aka Hobbiton), so no updates for a bit. I'll let you know how it goes.

By the way, the renting an RV thing actually fell through, but that doesn't change the fact that I'll be spending two weeks touring the south island while you all are in school. So you can still be jealous, don't worry. :P

-jason <><

Bwahaha

2006-09-06T00:48:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! How's it going? Hey, quick question: what are you gonna be up to around the end of September, beginning of October? What's that? Going to school? Working? Hmm, interesting. Well I know for a fact that what you're NOT doing is renting an RV with five really good friends and spending two weeks touring the south island of New Zealand.

'Cause that's what I'll be doing.

That's right. Be jealous. :P

-jason <><

Double Postage!

2006-09-03T02:36:00.000-07:00

Second post of the day, but whatever, the last one was weird anyway. I just had something really cool happen though.

I got to lead worship tonight, while playing bass. That wasn't the cool part, but it is *really* fun playing bass after being behind a keyboard/guitar my whole life. It was also our first worship session with an electric guitar, since my friend Chris and I went to Hamilton last week to buy one of those crappy, cheap, teach-yourself-guitar type of things (complete with miniature, tinny amp!) - basically an electric that we could leave at the school once we were done with it. And we played My Glorious the *right* way, which is a first.

No, none of that is the cool part, because when it actually got down to it, it was one of the worst worship sessions I've ever lead, as far as how I personally felt about it. Honestly. The worst is still, by far, the two-and-a-half-hour foot-washing marathon in Tijuana (I've never hated my guitar so much in my life), but this was pretty bad. The sound was terrible from where I was standing, it didn't even sound like it was working properly, and there was NO dynamic contrast, EVER. I kept thinking how much I missed playing with my band, because something like dynamic contrast came so easy to us. We had seriously gotten to the point where we had, like, one brain, and could just pick it up and slow it down and change verses and everything like that without even working on it - it's been a bit of a shock to be away from a group like that. I mean, it's hard to lead that sort of thing from bass anyway, but I tried SO HARD to get people to build up or quiet down at certain parts of the song and they just did not follow me at all. It was incredibly frustrating, and by the end of the worship time I was in a really bad mood.

And yet the same thing happened here that happened with the foot-washing ceremony: I got more compliments than I ever do for leading worship.

It's just weird how that works. I have what I consider to be the worst attitude imaginable for worship-leading, and God uses me so much more. In fact, I guess my usual attitude is the bad one - the attitude of "Oh yeah, I'm such a good worship leader that I can totally handle this". Whenever I expect compliments, I don't get them, but when I least expect them, there they are. And not that compliments are the only indicator of a good worship time, but you know what I mean.

Just needed to share that. Right now, I need to go to my ballet lesson.

-jason <><

P.s. No, I'm not kidding. About the ballet. I'm gonna be a ballerina! Or a ballerino. Or whatever.

Putting God First

2006-09-02T19:54:00.000-07:00

I know we've heard a million times that you're supposed to "put God first" in relationships, especially romantic ones. The point being that we need to rely entirely on God, and not lean on other people to satisfy and fulfill us. I also know that this is a long and difficult process, and that we'll never be perfect in this aspect of our relationships.

So my question: How good does my relationship with God have to be before I can start pursuing romantic ones?

Not that I have any specific plans right now, it's just...if the opportunity for a romantic relationship were to come up right now, I don't feel like I'd be ready for it. So when will I actually be "ready"?

-jason <><

Yeah, well

2006-08-31T23:47:00.000-07:00

Okay, I know I said that last post wasn't triggered by anything, but I guess it really was. Get over it. It's this web-comic that I've just gotten hooked into called Megatokyo. Problem: we don't exactly have internet here. BUT, my friend had it all downloaded onto his computer (and just updated it last week), so I got to read it all. ALL. Several years worth. Fantastic!

I'd actually heard about this comic a very long time ago, but at the time I thought it was just another dorky gaming comic geared especially towards those weird people who are obsessed with Japanese culture even though they're about as far-removed from Japan as they could possibly be (not pointing any fingers *cough*emilyschmuhl*cough*). But after reading through all those years of comics I discovered...that's pretty much true. But I like it anyway.

It's actually really cool because it's drawn in manga style, but it's definitely a very North American sort of comic (sorry all you Japanese-wannabies, it does read left to right :P ). The thing is, the two main characters are Americans, although they're stuck in Tokyo. And it makes a really interesting dynamic, I really like it.

But yeah, it's basically the same deal as every other time I read something with a good romance story in it - I get depressed. Haha, not really, but it does make me think a lot, because I'm a very relationship-oriented person and I love reading about that kind of stuff, and I do of course tend to think about how un-like my life it is and blah blah blah.

But it's a really good story. You should read it. I happen to know that the website is www.megatokyo.com (crazy), although I've yet to go there myself. Which is driving my friend and I nuts because we know that there have been a number (3) of updates since our latest comic, and the story was JUST GETTING GOOD where we left off. Oh yeah, if you wanna read it, start from the beginning. Don't be put off, it's kinda dumb at first, but it gets a lot better and it won't make the tiniest bit of sense if you start in the middle.

And now I'm going to go read the Bible (*gasp*). Kinda cool to actually be able to say that...

-jason <><

Random thought...

2006-08-26T03:25:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered if there actually might not be someone out there for you? I'm talking about, like, your future spouse, your "soul mate", as it were. Have you? Of course you have whenever you've felt down, when something didn't go as expected, when a relationship got screwed up, but have you ever actually thought that maybe you really are going to stay single forever? Have you truly, honestly thought that before?

This really is a random thought, there wasn't anything in particular that triggered it. Well...not really.

Oi. I need sleep.

-jason <><

What About Them?

2006-08-23T04:17:00.000-07:00

So we all heard a pretty good phone call in the lecture hall today.

Technically, the guy who called was supposed to actually *be* there, but he hurt his ankle yesterday and is currently holed up in Auckland per doctor's orders. So instead of lecturing, we just got the phone miked and called him. And it must have been really weird for him, because apparently the "conference call" function on New Zealand phones (or at least Capernwray's phones) are only one-way - so he just talked, not hearing our responses or anything. That would have totally weirded me out, at least.

Anyway, it was a good talk [phone call], like I said. The speaker was K.P. Yohannan, and East Indian man who spoke to us about none other than: missions.

Now here's the thing with me and missions. In my last year at the good old BC of S (Bellevue Christian of School...yeah that didn't make any sense), they had pretty much the whole year's worth of chapels (one a week) on the subject of missions. Which is a fine idea in some ways, since missions is such an incredibly important topic, but...it definitely had the wrong effect on me. I was already somewhat cynical towards missions because I've heard a lot about it - by the end of a year, I downright resented it.

And maybe this is my problem, but honestly I'd like to think that my cynicism isn't entirely unfounded. I've heard the same kind of talk so many millions of time: basically, "the world sucks and it's all your fault". I've been overloaded with statistics over my life, on how many children die every minute, how many people in Africa are suffering from AIDS, how many people in the world are living in poverty, etc. I don't mean to make light of these facts, but it's awfully hard not to when I've heard them so many times.

And the big question I always have is: why are you telling me this? Am I supposed to feel compassion for these people because of these numbers? I thought compassion had to do with actual *people*, not just statistics and facts. Or are you trying to put me through a guilt trip? Heh, I love it when, at the end of their little shpiel, they actually say "Now, this isn't to make you feel guilty..." Oh! Never mind then! I was feeling pretty freaking guilty right there, but since you said I shouldn't then I guess it's okay! Seriously though, why feel guilty? What have I done? Pretty much my fault was that I was born into a middle-class, suburbian family in the USA. If I wasn't giving money or involving myself in missions at all then I should probably feel guilty, but neither is the case.

The other thing that often annoys me about missions talks is this: their talk about world missions is almost indiscernible from a talk by a non-Christian humanitarian organization. Missions is absolutely, unbelievably important. Whatever goes along with preaching the gospel is secondary. Why do you think Jesus healed people? Yes He had compassion on them, but He had compassion because He saw their hearts, blackened by sin and cursed to an eternity in Hell if they were never rescued. He healed to spread the Word, to let people know He was God, that they might believe Him. And very often, He would forgive people's sins as He healed them. He was concerned FIRST AND FOREMOST for their salvation - earthly needs came second.

Yet there are so many so-called "missions" groups that seem entirely bent towards movements like solving world hunger, the AIDS crisis, all incredibly important things...for THIS life. Yes, let's use the resources God has blessed us with to help those in need, but what about spreading the gospel? I heard a missions talk just this last year where spreading God's Word was not mentioned one single time in the whole speech.

All this to say...whenever I'm about to hear a talk on missions, I immediately put my defences up. And when the talk actually manages to break through those defences and reach my heart, it's really incredible.

That happened only one time in that whole year at BCS, that I can remember, when we heard a talk from the International Justice Mission. They had a clear goal, positive stories of past successes...although suddenly I can't remember if they did have a strong focus on spreading the Word. I really hope they did, 'cause otherwise that would sort of undermine everything I'd just been saying :P...but I'm pretty sure they did, I don't know that I'd come away from it so positively if they didn't.

And today's talk was good too. It's just now dawned on me that I really don't have much to say about it except that it was good - I guess I just wanted an excuse to rant. :P But it was very interesting to listen to, with one important aspect that I forgot to mention earlier: he was actually from the area that he worked in. I know many many missionaries from Western culture who go to work in the developing world and have incredible hearts and ministries, but there's always something different when a native comes to speak.

Which, by the way, is one more reason why everyone in the world should read "The Heavenly Man" by Brother Yun. An incredible account of the Church in China, but from the perspective of an actual Chinese Christian. It's amazing how different his focus is from what ours would be. He doesn't focus on the persecutions and miracles and all those things that we constantly gape at. He focuses on God's love and the joy that He provides. Anyway, needed to get that plug in.

Well if you've finished this post then I commend you. I should give you a prize or something. Like a plane ticket to New Zealand. Yeah sure, sounds like a deal. Just send me $2000 and we'll call it good. :P

Wow, I'm tired, it's already 4 in the morning. Back home. It's just 11 pm over here, but I'm still tired.

nighty-night,
-jason <><

What I Learned At School Today

2006-08-21T04:26:00.000-07:00

Well, not "today" necessarily, but recently...I've been doing a lot of doodling and such lately, like during lectures...

[IMPORTANT NOTE: I listen during lectures! I swear it on my life! I remember all of last week's lectures, in fact I remember them better than some of the other lectures! And yes, mom and dad, this message is mostly for you...]

...anyway, so I've been messing around a bit, and I discovered something almost shocking last week...

...I can draw.

NO. WAY.

Yes, it's true, I can draw. I'm not great by any stretch of the imagination, it's not like a gift or anything, but I can actually draw, a lot better than I thought I could, at least. I always tend to lean a bit more to the unrealistic, almost cartoony side of things, but it turns out I'm not so shabby at realistic art either. I attempted to draw a picture of the drum set up at the front of the lecture hall, and lo and behold, it actually looked like a drum set! NO. WAY.

And aside from me finding out that I don't suck at art, there's actually a couple pictures I'm fairly proud of. (I'll try and scan them sometime, I'm not sure how that'll work.) One of them's a picture of a group of angels flying towards the sky, except I drew the whole thing in diagonal lines (bottom-left to top-right). It's an idea I came up with accidentally once, so I made a whole picture out of it.

The other one is a picture of this huge, dark forest with a bunch of really weird trees and these glowing eyes coming out the dark and everything...except for this little girl in a dress who's walking along the path, and is surrounded by a circle of light that drives all the darkness away from her. It's a picture that could use a heck of a lot of work, there's a lot of detail I didn't bother to add, but just the concept of it is really interesting to me. I actually got compliments on it! Wow...

Anyway, nothing more to say here. Just thought I'd share my excitement!

-jason <><

"Bornuv does dot Blog's pot", thought Com. (read it out loud really fast)

2006-08-18T19:37:00.000-07:00

Well it's been a while since my latest "real" update, so here goes nothing. Actually, here goes something. Something that'll probably take a good portion of the day to write. :P

In short, life's going well here. For a while I was sort of worried that I wouldn't make any real friends here, but thankfully that fear was unfounded. From what I've heard, everyone gets really close after two-week break (in September) but by now I've become good enough friends with the people here that I feel sort of at home. I've even found some people to jam with! Sweet as!

I'm constantly surprised by how different things are here. Actually, probably the most different thing I have to get used to here is living in such an international community. In my family group alone (kind of a "replacement family" while we're here, we spend a lot of time together and such), which has about 8 people total, we've got representatives from the US, Canada, Germany, Japan, Papua New Guinea, and of course New Zealand. And I guess the Papua New Guinea one doesn't totally count, since she's white and is more of a Kiwi, but she was born and grew up in New Guinea, so there you go. And the interesting bit about it is how often you have to be aware that you're not just talking to Americans. In fact, you're rarely talking to Americans around here (more Canadians). Lots of jokes suddenly don't make sense anymore because they have to do with our system of government or culture; discussions about politics and society and everything like that always have to be put into context; and just little things on top of that, like an American's tendency to throw Spanish phrases into their conversations every once in a while. That was a really weird one, it never struck me how often a lot of Americans do that (or how often I do that, even), but it's very much an American thing, and most people here don't know any Spanish at all, or at least very little.

But it's really cool talking to people from these different societies, learning their culture, all that good stuff. I talked with a German friend of mine here for a while about differences between the US and Europe, and it actually surprised me. In fact, it surprised me that it surprised me so much. Um. Yeah. Lots of celebrities over there that are household names, and I've never heard of them - most of them are from the US, too. I think one of them was Cleopatra, and Robbie Williams (who I just discovered that I've heard before, but I didn't recognise the name). And of course, there are lots of similarities. Harry Potter for instance. I think you'd be hard-pressed to find anyone in the world without at least a dim knowledge of Harry Potter. Which is fine with me. :P

I will tell you, though, the one thing I miss from home, almost as much as I miss my friends and family (sometimes more, to be totally honest) is...central heating. Supposedly it's not cold enough for long enough here to justify getting central heating, so almost nobody has it. You've gotta make do with either a space heater or a fireplace, or (the vast majority of the time) nothing at all. Well as far as we're concerned at this time, it's definitely been cold enough for long enough, and we're pretty much counting down the days til spring. And I've now got an item to add to my list of "Most Unpleasant Experiences Ever", namely "Getting Into a Freezing Cold Bed At Night and Waiting For It To Warm Up". It's somewhere between "Getting a Hair Stuck In the Back of Your Throat", and "Having a Conversation With One of Those People Who Speak One Sentence Then Stare At You In Silence For a Few Seconds Then Start Talking Again Just When You're About To Say Something". It's a good list, I should write it out sometime. And no, "Taking a Cold Shower In the Middle of Winter" isn't on the list. That's on a completely separate list, entitled "Moments In Life That Make Me Either Want To Commit Suicide or Pick Up An Axe and Take Out My Rage On the Unsuspecting Populace". It's the only item on the list.

As far as studies go, they've been hard, I'm not gonna lie. I'm also not gonna lie that I hear the phrase "I'm not gonna lie" about a million times a day here, and I'm really not sure why. Anyway. We have these Bible studies that we have to do, about one a week, and it's been a struggle for me to get up on my feet with those. It's mostly a focus problem, something made a lot worse from my time at UW. It was just so hard, at first, to read a Bible passage and actually make some coherent sense out of it. It's like trying to hold onto sand - my thoughts and my focus just keep slipping out of my mind. I've been getting better though. One thing that I've been learning to do is to meditate, which has been enormously helpful in a number of ways. Of course, when I talk about "meditation", I mean meditating on God and His Word, although I'm hoping you figured that out. It takes me a long time now, because my thoughts are so scattered and overwhelming at times. In fact, meditating has helped me realise how much I'm thinking about all the time. Whenever I begin meditating, trying to focus all my attention on God, it's like trying to get an entire stadium full of people to be quiet. But I usually manage, after a lot of prayer and patience, and then I can begin some real prayer and reflection, and open myself up to listen to Him. It's a pretty awesome experience, it just takes me an hour or two...

It's weird, though, even though I don't really have much free time (except on the weekends), I'm somehow freer to do things that I've been wanting to do, like play guitar, do some writing, reading, stuff like that. I'm currently working on a short movie idea that I hope to film while I'm here, and I'm really excited about that. I've got some people who want to help me out with that, in fact I'll probably end up getting the help of half the school...but yeah, that'll be great, hopefully I'll get that done by the end of the semester.

The chips here are really weird. Sorry, that was just on my mind right now as I'm attempting to eat these things called "Burger Rings" that are, in fact, burger-flavoured chips. Which are just about as gross as they sound (unless they sound good to you, in which case you're perfectly free to come down here and try them yourself). And that's what they're all like down here, really. Black Pepper and Lime; Tomato and Herbs; Pickles and Tuna; okay, I made that last one up, but still. At least they have Pringles. I'll just live off of those for a while.

Oh, and they have the world's best chocolate here. And ice cream. I'm not even joking, the chocolate and the ice cream here are both absolutely friggin incredible.

I'm totally running out of attention span here, so I'll leave you with that monstrosity of a post.

later,
-jason <><

P.S. By now, those of you who know me well are probably wondering why I don't have "Going To the Dentist" on that list with the cold showers. Well, there's a very simple explanation for that. I forgot. It definitely deserves a place there.

Knowing God

2006-08-14T04:23:00.000-07:00

From the book "Knowing God" by J. I. Packer:

-----

Not many of us, I think, would ever naturally say that we have known God. The words imply a definiteness and matter-of-factness of experience to which most of us, if we are honest, have to admit that we are still strangers. We claim, perhaps, to have a testimony, and can rattle off our conversion story with the best of them; we say that we *know* God - this, after all, is what evangelicals are expected to say; but would it occur to us to say, without hesitation, and with reference to particular events in our personal history, that we *have known* God? I doubt it, for I suspect that with most of us experience of God has never become so vivid as that.

Nor, I think, would many of us ever naturally say that in the light of the knowledge of God which we have come to enjoy, past disappointments and present heartbreaks, as the world counts heartbreaks, *don't matter*. For the plain fact is that to most of us they do matter. We live with them as our 'crosses' (so we call them). Constantly we find ourselves slipping into bitterness and apathy and gloom as we reflect on them, which we frequently do. The attitude we show to the world is a sort of dried-up stoicism, miles removed from the 'joy unspeakable and full of glory' which Peter took for granted that his readers were displaying (1 Pet. 1:8, KJV). 'Poor souls,' our friends say of us, 'how they've suffered' - and that is just what we feel about ourselves!

-----

That part absolutely gripped me when I first read it. Like everything I'd been fretting and worried about, all right there in front of me. Finally, somebody who really seemed to understand my struggles. And the whole book has been incredibly helpful, I highly reccommend you go and read it yourself, but this next part was especially encouraging to me:

-----

Imagine, now, that we are going to be introduced to someone whom we feel to be 'above' us - whether in rank, or intellectual distinction, or professional skill, or personal sanctity, or in some other respect. The more conscious we are of our own inferiority, the more we shall feel that our part is simply to attend to this person respectfully and let him take the initiative in the conversation. (Think of meeting the Queen, or the Duke of Edinburgh.) We would like to get to know this exalted person, but we fully realise that this is a matter for him to decide, not us. If he confines himself to courteous formalities with us, we may be disappointed, but we do not feel able to complain; after all, we had no claim on his friendship.

But if instead he starts at once to take us into his confidence, and tells us frankly what is in his mind on matters of common concern, and if he goes on to invite us to join him in particular undertakings he has planned, and asks us to make ourselves permanently available this kind of collaboration whenever he needs us, then we shall feel enormously privileged, and it will make a world of difference to our general outlook. If life seemed unimportant and dreary hitherto, it will not seem so any more, now that the great man has enrolled us among his personal assistants. Here is something to write home about - and something to live up to!

Now this, so far as it goes, is an illustration of what it means to know God. Well might God say through Jeremiah, 'Let him that glories glory in this, that he understands and knows me' (Jer 9:24)- for knowing God is a relationship calculated to thrill a person's heart.

What happens is that the almighty Creator, the Lord of hosts, the great God before whom the nations are as a drop in a bucket, comes to you and begins to talk to you, through the words and truths of Holy Scripture. Perhaps you have been acquainted with the Bible and Christian truth for many years, and it has meant nothing to you; but one day you wake up to the fact that God is actually speaking to you - you! - through the biblical message. As you listen to what God is saying, you find yourself brought very low; for God talks to you about your sin, and guilt, and weakness, and blindness, and folly, and compels you to judge yourself hopeless and helpless, and to cry out for forgiveness.

But this is not all. You come to realise as you listen that God is actually opening his heart to you, making friends with you, and enlisting you as a colleague - in Barth's phrase, a 'covenant partner'. It is a staggering thing, but it is true - the relationship in which sinful human beings know God is one in which God, so to speak, takes them on to his staff, to be henceforth his fellow-workers (see 1 Cor. 3:9) and personal friends. The action of God in taking Joseph from prison to become Pharoah's prime minister is a picture of what he does to every Christian: from being Satan's prisoner, you find yourself transferred to a position of trust in the service of God. At once life is transformed.

-----

I'll give more details later, but I basically had a stunning revelation this last week: God is actually here. He actually wants to have a relationship with me. This isn't some psychological trick I'm playing on myself, I actually have the Holy Spirit inside of me, Jesus was actually a man, and God is an actual being. It's really incredible once it hits you.

Anyway, that's all I got time for right now. Have an excellent week!

-jason <><

Prayer Request

2006-08-06T02:15:00.000-07:00

Hey, if you all have room in your prayers for me, pray that I can start being more consistent with my medication. Antidepressants are designed so that your body gets used to them over time, so when I don't take them as often as I should, it can end up being really bad for me. I just haven't gotten into a pattern yet where I'm taking them consistently, and I'm starting to worry about that. So prayers are greatly appreciated! Thanks!

-jason <><

The question that led me here in the first place:

2006-08-01T01:25:00.000-07:00

What does it mean to let Christ live through you?

An answer I often get is "you take it one day at a time". Okay...um, take what? What am I doing on a daily basis? Am I trying to live like Christ? Isn't that just me trying to be good by my own power? How do I "submit" myself to Him? Are there some magic words I've missed somewhere in all my years of going to church? Is it really as simple as saying "I submit to You"? I mean, I sing something like that almost every time I lead/participate in worship, so trust me, I've said it a whole freaking lot.

Or maybe I should just sit on my butt all day and not do anything, waiting for God to move me. How do I listen to Him? How do I become like Him? How do I "have a relationship" with Him?

It's funny...I remember back when I first gave my testimony, back in 8th grade, and I talked about when I "first learned what it truly means to have a relationship with Jesus." Then I gave my testimony yesterday and realised...I still don't know.

-jason <><